Crazy Dog!

It's been an interesting week or so for my doggie, Snoot. On Halloween night I got home late from Birmingham. The kids were already back from trick-or-treating and everyone was in bed. My energetic pooch didn't greet me at the door like he always does and I knew something was up.

I found him in the bedroom laid out in his favorite spot. His tummy was making all kinds of terrible noise. It literally sounded like he swallowed a live cat who was really pissed off. I wondered if the kids had fed him candy, which they know is against the rules. I went and woke them up to ask. They both told me no, that his tummy was unhappy when they got home and they didn't know why. I believe them because they are always telling each other not to feed him this or that. They would never give him anything that they thought might hurt him. The adore him and he them. So, I woke my husband up and asked him if something had happened to my doggie or if he had maybe fed him anything unusual. He said no.

I sat in the floor and rubbed his tummy. He wasn't acting like the condition was causing him any pain....but I've had gas like that and it hurts like a bastard! After a while I went to sleep only to be awakened by the sound of Snoot barfing in the living room. I got up to clean it up but there was nothing there. Dry heaves.

The next day he seemed fine. Seemed to be burping a lot but otherwise ok.

On Friday I had to be out of the house for the morning to attend a drug court monitoring session in Shelby Co. I called home during a break and learned that Snoot had started throwing up again and that he was hot to the touch and his nose was dry. I said I would be home as soon as I was done but to call me if he got sick again. And he did get sick again. I decided to call it a day and rush home to take him to the vet.

At the vet's office we discovered he did not have a fever. He is also worm free, which is most unusual, even for a house dog. He weighs 75 lbs. which is far below the 110 I had him pegged at. I asked the vet if he was underweight and he said no. His assistant, who also owns a German Shepherd about Snoot's age said she wished her's would get as big as mine. The vet commented on how incredibly strong he is. We had him tied, muzzled, blind-folded and three people holding him and still it was like wrestling a bull alligator. Blood work showed no signs of infection.

The vet asked me a series of questions. Had he eaten anything unusual? Had he maybe killed a small animal and eaten it? Had he been in any stagnant water? Did I ever allow him to roam free? Had I recently pissed off any of my neighbors who might have done something to him?
Every answer was no. I asked the vet about bloat, which is common among deep chested dogs like shepherds. He said he had considered that but since Snoot was still going to the bathroom with regularity he had ruled it out.

He went out of the room to get some anti-biotics. A couple minutes later he stepped back in with the strangest smile on his face. I took one look at him and knew what was coming.

"You don't reckon he might have eaten any of your pot do you?" I cracked up. "No doc. I'm certain he didn't eat any of my pot. As a rule, I don't keep it at the house and he hasn't been anywhere else where there was pot." "Ok", he said, "it's just that I know what you do for a living because we had that conversation a while back and pot is toxic to dogs if they eat it and I just happened to think of it."

Snoot wound up with a large shot of some new anti-biotic, which he was most unhappy about, two additional syringes to give him at home, a bottle of pills of the same, new flea medicine, heart worm prevention medicine, and a large bottle of Kaopectate mixed with Paregoric. For those of you that don't know, Paregoric is camphor distilled opium. When I was a little kid I suffered from chronic ear infections and my mom was a firm believer in Paregoric. Back then (late 70's early 80's) she could walk into the neighborhood pharmacy and get it directly from the pharmacist without a prescription. I spent many a childhood day whacked out of my mind on that shit. Now it is almost impossible to get. The vet said the pharmacists in this area stock it for him but not really for people anymore.

He told me to give Snoot 10-15 CC's three to four times a day. I said "Damn doc you trying to kill him? That's a HUGE dose." He said it does not affect animals like it does humans...that my puppy would be fine. So, I gave Snoot 10 CC's one time and he was so loopy he could barely stand up. Just stoned out of his gourd. It's funny that dogs can handle massive doses of opiates but ingesting marijuana is toxic to them.

Here are a couple more pics I snapped of him this morning. They do not do him justice size wise.





I found out four new things about Snoot this week. He hates a vacuum cleaner and the UPS guy, he is lactose intolerant and his precious ears are a babe magnet.

I found out about the vacuum cleaner when I had to clean up a dirt spill in the bedroom. My husband had moved one of his plants from outside back inside because of the cold weather. He sat it down at the foot of the bed while he found a more suitable place for it and a little dirt spilled out. Well, the dog, being the helpful creature that he is, decided he would help dad put more dirt on the floor. He proceeds to dig up, from who knows where, two peat pots with dirt, which he chews to shreds on top of the original dirt. The resulting pile was loo big to sweep up with the broom, and I couldn't find the broom anyway, so I got out the vacuum. As soon as I turned it on Snoot went ape-shit. Barking in that high-pitched frantic way that means "I'm fixin to eat your ass up!!", snarling, lunging and finally outright attacking the vacuum. There are teeth marks on it. I had to pry him off it. I guess he thought it was attacking me and he was flat aiming to fuck it up. Nothing and no one get's near his mama without going thru him. God, I love it!

Found out about the UPS guy two nights ago when he made a 7 pm delivery. We didn't hear or see him pull up out front so when he knocked on the door everybody in the house jumped. Usually the only people who knock on my door are folks from the power and cable companies wanting money or the cops wanting to cart me off to jail for some minor infraction or other. Funny though...the dog didn't bark when the knock came. I went to the door with Snoot at my side. The guy hollered out "It's UPS." I raised the window to get the package and Snoot LUNGED for the guy and suddenly found his barking box. I don't think I have ever seen a hand snatched back so quick in my life. I grabbed Snoot by the collar and started hauling him back away from the window and the UPS guy said, "I'll just leave it out here on the steps." He quickly departed.

I found out he is lactose intolerant (at least when it comes to things cooked with milk) last night after he ate two large helpings of homemade chicken dumplings. My family loves'em in cold weather and I make a pretty mean pot, even if I do say so myself. Last night was Snoot's first encounter with them though. He loved them too. Ate all of his, begged what he could off the kids and then ate again when my husband had some. About 2 am all hell broke loose. He woke me up, which he never does before 5 am. He was whining like he needed to go out. So, I got up, threw on my robe, flannel pants and Croc's and took him out. Gawd it was cold at 2 am this morning! He peed and we came back in. At 2:45 he woke me up again...so I took him out again. He didn't do anything and after a few minutes I brought him back in and attempted to go back to sleep. He started running from room to room to room. Back and forth to the door, rattling the knob and jumping on the glass. I figured he smelled some strange critter outside and I knew he had no intention of being quiet so I got up and put him in his kennel. He woke my son up a little while later moaning and whining so Alex got up and took him outside. He said Snoot practically dragged him across the yard to his pen, ran inside and had an explosion. After that he was fine. He came back in and went to sleep until we all got up a couple hours later. I just put him back outside in his pen and he had another explosion. I feel his pain, as I, too, am lactose intolerant when it comes to things like milk and ice cream. I still eat and drink them anyway...but I pay the price.

And last but not least I discovered that Snoot's over-sized, warm, soft, velvety ears are a babe magnet. If I were a lesbian that might be very useful to me...but I'm not...so it isn't. However, if you are a lesbian, or a heterosexual male that is considering a pooch, a German Shepherd with big ears is the ticket. All the women at the vets office came into the room last week just to play with his ears and took turns nuzzling and rubbing them. I understand...I can't keep my hands off of them either. Thay are absolutely irresistable. They have a way of making me smile when I feel sad, lowering my blood pressure when it skyrockets (which is often because I stay so pissed off) and just generally giving me that warm fuzzy feeling that only a beloved pooch can give.

I love my doggie!