I can't quit looking at the damn thing. You know I was really and truly shocked when I first saw it yesterday. I'm still shocked today. You must know that it is extremely difficult to shock yours truly. I went to bed last night expecting a 3 a.m. anti-sex toy SWAT team raid....but luckily that didn't happen....yet.
That cartoon heaped utter and abject humiliation on the top law enforcement officer in the state. Which is exactly what he deserved. You gotta admit that Troy King has been begging for someone to slap him around a little bit for a very long time. This whole sex toy/anti-obscenity crusade he puts on is nothing more than a distraction from his failures as AG. The guy is a joke.
Some people have asked me why I did it. Well, to humiliate King for starters. Of course, I never really expected it to get this much play. That seems to be a recurring theme with me. I was really just being a smart-ass again. Also, since the 11th circuit ruled that Alabamian's do not have a constitutional right to sexual privacy (and King still says that isn't enough) then we must have a constitutional right to sex publicly...right? Or do we not have a constitutional right to sex at all in the state of Alabama? If that is the case then somebody's got some 'splanin' to do Since King wanted to make us the laughing stock of the nation AGAIN I figured a little table-turnin was in order.
Some people have failed to understand the signifigance of me sending a pig to the AG. Yeah...I know that is really hard to believe. I almost feel like if they don't get the pig symbolism then I shouldn't bother to explain it because they probably wouldn't be able to follow along anyway....but I will explain it just this once. Troy King is the top law enforcement officer in the state. Law enforcement officers are often referred to as 'pigs' by citizenry. Also, as I mentioned before I didn't want to encourage Troy to breed outside his species by sending a human blow-up doll.
The cartoon itself borders on obscene. Everyone who I sent it to yesterday was shocked into absolute silence for a good 30 seconds when they first saw it. And these people are not Troy King fans. Then they cackled like maniacs for much longer. No one could believe it. One friend told me, "I just stared at it for a while because I could not convince myself that I was seeing what I was actually seeing. Troy just got fucked in the newspaper."
The more I look at it the funnier it is. The look on that little pigs face is like "Oh no....this isn't gonna be good." The same friend who was having trouble believing what he was seeing called me last night and said, "You know...it may be because I am a pig owner....but that lil'ol pig looks concerned." And the donkey with his tongue hanging out...and the mace hanging off Troy's side....and those damn boots and Troy even has a belly button. His latex-gloved hand is up that pig's butt. It's like he's doing a 'Seig Heil' with a pig stuck on the end of his arm. Someone over at Daily Dixie said "He's wearing that thing like an oven mitt." And the best part of all....my name on that box. OMG!!!
Brian Lyman just emailed me back. I let him know earlier this morning that Petunia had landed and asked if he would be willing to go by and ask to take a photo of it. He said they are doing a follow-up and he'll call me.
Stay tuned for more righteous hilarity.
1 comment:
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