Wednesday, January 14, 2009

I don't even walk to the mailbox!

I am in Connecticut for the next two days for a drug policy conference with different people from different states.

It's really fucking cold here. I flew from BHAM to Cincinnati and from Cincinnati to Hartford. When I got off the plane in Hartford it was 4 degrees. That's cold. All the way through the trip I didn't get to smoke. There wasn't time between stops to grab a cig. When I got here to the hotel I learned that I had my own private room and it is a smoking room. Suhweet, I thought. That's just exactly what I wanted.

So, I get to my room, very much anticipating that first drag off a cigarette. Except they took my lighter at the airport. I look around for matches because you expect such things from a five star hotel that has smoking rooms. Hell I expect a Chip-N-Dale's dancer to come in and light me up every time I need one at a five star hotel. But they don't have Chip-N-Dale dancers here. Nor apparently do they have matches.

After scouring my room looking for matches I finally gave up and called the front desk to ask them to bring me up a pack. They informed me that they were out.

Me: "Is there a hotel store where I can purchase a lighter?"

Hotel: "No mam. The nearest store is three blocks away....within walking distance."

Me: "I just flew from Alabama where I don't even walk to the mailbox when the weather is warm. I'll be damned if I am going to walk three blocks in 4 degree weather. Surely there is a pack of matches in this hotel somewhere."

But apparently there is not. I tried lighting one off the hair dryer in the bathroom but all that did was scorch my eyeballs. I finally found a friend with a spare lighter and all is well now.

Tomorrow they are expecting 5 inches of snow here and on Friday when I fly out it is supposed to be -20. I am so happy that I found a Shearling lambskin coat at the thrift store yesterday for $15.

Hope y'all are staying warm in Alabama.


Don said...

At least with that coat you bought those famous campaign boobs should stay warm. :-)

Andrew In Alabama said...

Maybe you should take this as an opportunity to kick that habit.

Just sayin'.

Anonymous said...

hahahaha! Girl, you can't light a smoke off a hair dryer. Here's what I learned from the brothers in the smoking lounge in Atlanta. Put your lighter (a bic) in your front pocket. They don't set off the security alarms. I can attest to that fact.

Wait till you pay $8 for pack. You'll be looking for a kitten to punch.

Anonymous said...

It feels like 3 degrees here in bama tonight h.s. its cold.

Loretta Nall said...

lol @ writechic

you certainly can light a cigarette with a hair dryer. I've done it. I will try that lighter in the front pocket trick on the way home today.

Loretta Nall said...

Oh and I paid $6.52 for a pack of smokes last night. Sadly there were no kittens around for me to take a swing at.

Anonymous said...

Okay, live dangerously then...but I always thought when those coils hetted up all red like...that meant during the damn thing off. ;-)

Now, toaster coils, I've totally used those.

Connecticut is kinder than Massachusetts...I paid $8 for mine in Boston.

Loretta Nall said...

I've paid $8 before too. In NY, Boston, CA anywhere outside the South it seems the prices are OUTRAGEOUS! I heard that with the passage of the SCHIP plan for children's health care we can soon expect to pay more even here in Alabama.

As for the hair dryer. When I lived in a group home in Montgomery as a teen I devised a way to light a smoke off of a hair dryer. The coil had always gotten red when I turned it on so when I needed a light I would remove the barrel of the hair dryer and have direct access to the coils. You know what they say....Necessity is the mother of invention.

BTW, it is so damn cold here that it still feels like I am in Connecticut. BRRRRRRRR

Loretta Nall said...

Andrew in Alabama....I should quit. I know. But the time never seems right. I saw some of the Nicorette gum on sale the other day. I will look for it the next time I go back to the store. I really do want to quit. I hate smoking. I hate being addicted. It is the only thing I have ever been addicted to in my entire life. I hate the smell. I hate the way it sticks to clothing. I hate the way it makes my breath stink and my teeth yellow. I hate the way my lungs hurt and the cough.....but it is a damn powerful addiction to break.

Jay Croft said...

Loretta, did you know that there are one-stop flights BHM to BDL on Southwest Airlines? The stopover is in Baltimore.