Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Hospital Food & Where in the Hell is the Coffee?

As of 7:05 a.m. my daughter Bell is still in the hospital. We are hoping that the doctor comes in this morning and releases her. While we are waiting I thought I'd take a minute to extole the virtues of hospital living.

Is there some coffee in the house?

First....there is no coffee to be found in this godforsaken place. None for sale in the snack room, none on the various floors, although every waiting room has a lovely coffee pot just sitting there, taunting me everytime I walk by. There are signs that say "NO EATING OR DRINKING IN WAITING AREAS". So, why are there coffee pots there? I finally was able to sneak out around 630 this morning and get some at the service station next door. By 630 on any given morning I am usually well into my second pot of coffee. I am all out now and jonsin for more.

The Food

Yesterday around 430 I had to go and pick up my husband at work. When I got back to the hopital, dinner trays had been delivered. Bell is on a liquid diet and therefore got some soup, tea and water. I asked her what kind of soup it was and she said, "Well, I think it as suppossed to be chicken noodle....but they forgot to add the chicken and noodles."

She is hilarious! Hmmm...wonder where she gets it?

It is morning now and they have just brought in our breakfast trays.

MMMM Let's see what we got.

Okay. I can identify the grit, eggs and what looks to be a biscuit.

But, this thing looks to be an escapee from the operating room at the sex change clinic.

I don't even think my dog would eat that.

And here are my lovely sleeping accomadations.

Whoever invented that miserable contraption obviously was never made to sleep on it. I can't help but wonder if Dr. Mengele wasn't involved in the design...what with the spiky metal rod that runs right across the middle of it? I bet these are standard fare in Guantanamo for promoting sleep deprivation.

And here is our lovely top floor view.

And last but not least here is the lovely anti-smoking literature that they hand out to all patients and people who stay with the patients.

That annoy's me. I smoke. It's my business. If I want to quit I will seek out that information on my own. I don't need it force-fed to me.

The doctor has just dropped by and said we are all clear and free to go. YES! YES! YES!


wheeler said...

wow. that sucks. especially the coffee part.

you're in the wrong hospital. we spent four days at st. vincent's in b'ham when our twins were born. the room compared favorably to most hotels as far as comfort. while the "tray" food sucked, they had a cafateria with a huge selection of really great stuff; i had one of the best burgers i've ever tasted in that hospital. and while i usually despise starf**ckers, it was real nice to have one right there in the hospital.

Loretta Nall said...

I coulda used a StarBucks yesterday and today. I love their coffee. I know they screw over thrid world farmers and I should not drink their product...but damn if it ain't good. I can't understand why the hospital had NO COFFEE.

Sounds like the other hospitals in AL could take a page from the St. Vincent's book.

Anonymous said...

I have to agree. As many hospitals and nursing homes I have worked in in Birmingham...the fact of no coffee would be unheard of! The food was pretty good too...with a pretty nice variety on most days. I love the country down there in Alex City...but medical care is definitely lacking. Glad Belle is home!!!

Anonymous said...

I posted this at CC Loretta,

And I agree, hospitals suck and are a good place to get sick,

But did you realize there's a spelling mistake in your into banner right at the top of the page?

"rights for gays and lesbians, ballot access reform an other social justice..."

You see the "D" in "and" is missing, right?

And hi, I wanted to introduce my self. :)

Anonymous said...

I'm glad Bell is feeling better and out of the hospital. We missed her in class today.
Just a reminder : Our Clanton trip is on Tuesday and we'll be back before school is out.
Have a good weekend,
Mrs. Scott

Loretta Nall said...

Thanks Mrs. Scott

I think it is so cool that you read my blog. Not sure what you make of my rants and raves sometimes...but at least it is clear where Bell gets her spunk from. I am keeping her out the rest of the week because she is just weak, drained and needs rest. She will be back on Monday and is eagerly anticipating the Clanton trip on Tuesday.