Thursday, December 17, 2009

A priceless moment

Yesterday was the last day of Fall semester at CACC. Our last assignment was a gripe speech for speech class. It could be done on anything in the world that gets under your skin that you want to complain about. I knew there would be some doosies...but I was completely unprepared for what happened near the end of class. The assignment was designed like this..

My biggest gripe about blank is blank....

I heard everything from gripes about the workplace to gripes about bad drivers to abortion to bad service at fast food restaurants. My gripe speech was on the news not actually being news anymore.

Near the end of class one little country, redneck girl got up and delivered the following gripe speech.

My biggest gripe about my Uncle ________ is his wife _______. Her full name is _____ _________. She is a nasty, filthy, rotten, whore who writes bad checks and has herpes, which she is spreading around to everything that walks in Coosa, Tallapoosa, Clay, Elmore and Talladega counties. She even slept with her first cousin. She cheated on my uncle in his bed, on his couch, and even in his truck. I ain't even gone set in it no more cause it's got leather seats and y'all know how stuff sticks to leather. Don't want to catch them herpes. Their house got repossessed cause she didn't make the payment cause she spent all her money on lingerie to show off for her boyfriend. Stay away from her. She works at _______ in _______, has a huge butt about this big (demonstrated by holding her hands about 10 ft. apart) and walks like this ( demonstration was also given). She used to drive a ______ but it got repossessed so now she drives a ________. Again, her name is _______ ______. The herpes.....she's got'em . She is a nasty bitch whore and I hate her.

I don't believe anyone in the class, including the instructor, was prepared for that. The instructor counseled her on the terms libel and slander to which she replied, "Yeah her and her momma has already called the cops on me for it twice."

Fuck...the whole thing was priceless.


Christie said...

What a great way to end the semester!!

Don said...

Priceless, indeed! That’s why I have a passion for little country redneck babes. It’s a shame you had to leave her name out. You should have given her name, address, and phone number so I could find her.

The devil made me say this. LOL!

InsanityRules said...

"Fuck...the whole thing was priceless."

For some reason, that assessment really cracked me up! I needed a good laugh today. If you hook Don up with her, we want the blow-by-blow!

Too funny!

Chris said...

Lord, someone needed a video camera!

So..... what was YOUR gripe about Loretta?

Loretta Nall said...

I have asked myself a thousand times since the speech "Why the hell didn't I have my video camera with me?"

My gripe speech was about the trash being fed to us as the Tiger Woods multi-pudding stirring scandal, Michale Jackson, car chases from the other side of the country. They cover everything but news. And it pisses me off!

Brandon said...

shit that was funny ... I needed that!