Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Musical Directions for Oral Sex

Ok, so here is something that annoys me so bad I could go postal over it!

Now, I know I can be about as vulgar as they come, what with the inflatable pig and the rendition of Bobby Brown adapted for Troy and JW and I like to use the f-word and other choice offensive words here on my blog. A lot. The difference is that if you don't want to read my blog you don't have to. You can skip it. It isn't like you have to park in the same parking lot with it and have your ear drums rattled and assaulted by it.

Yesterday my husband and I stopped at the post office around 1 pm to get a money order. He went inside and I sat in the car. The car parked next to me was unoccupied, all four windows were down and the stereo was blasting the most vile racket I had ever heard. Without getting too graphic (which really ins't possible considering the nature of the noise) it was a young black man giving very explicit instructions on how he wanted his girl to perform oral sex on him. It included the words dick, sac, crack, tongue, ass, lick and suck and all sorts of variations on what could be done with those various body parts. I almost threw up. Had I been packing heat I might have shot up the stereo to save the innocent ears all over downtown. I know I would have gone to jail for that, but that is one of those things I am sure would be worth going to jail over.

For crying out loud there were little children out there with their moms and elderly people who had never even heard of such and this was LOUD. I turned NPR on and cranked my stereo (which is located in a 1998 Mercury Tracer and certainly no match for my opponents $18,000 sub woofer) all the way up in an effort to drown out the filth. One little old fella took shelter near my car and smiled at me and thanked me for at least trying to drown it out. I'm sure it helped me but didn't do much for the other folks seeking soundproof shelter from that thumping pile of garbage.

I'm always very hesitant to ask for government intervention on anything....but this has to stop. Isn't there something that could be done about this? I know it happens in every city and town in Alabama and across the nation. Every. Single. Day. I don't care what music people listen to. It can be as vulgar and filthy as they want. And it can be as loud as they want when they are driving down the road or in their own homes where it can't pollute anyone but those who wish to listen to it. However, I do care when they insist that I listen to their noise (be it rock, rap or country). I don't blast my Marilyn Manson screaming about the faggot anti-pope and make their kids ask questions about what it means. No parent should have to ever explain to their very young children what 'lick my sac' means. EVER! It's about having a tiny modicum of respect for your fellow humans while in the public space we all must share. It's a damn shame we need a law to enforce that....but apparently we do.

What can be done about this? Should I approach the City Council? Is there already a noise ordinance? What is the penalty for violating the ordinance? Can we make the fine like ten gazillion dollars? Can we make an ordinance that says you HAVE to TURN THAT SHIT OFF when you go in somewhere? I volunteer to do the job for minimum wage :) Imagine me an Alex City Police Officer enforcing the noise ordinance. Lordy what a scene!

Please advise. I've had enough assault on my ear drums and my common decency.

Anyone else?


Anonymous said...

It's not the content that I mind -- you'd be surprised just how much 8-yr olds know about sex today. It's the volume, like you said.

Where I live, noise ordinances aren't enforced either -- and I don't know why! It's a $300 ticket for the first offense. If I was a city, I'd be writing as many tickets like that as I could, just to make some money.

But for some reason, officers seem to _never_ write tickets for it.

Christie O'Brien said...


Don said...

Check with whatever government entity governs the area you’re in and ask if it has a noise ordinance, and if so what it says. If it isn’t sufficient to prevent what you encountered, try to get it changed so it will be. If there is an ordinance ask if it is enforced, and if not why not. If there is no ordinance, write one and submit it for approval.

Laura said...

Sounds like what we hear in our house every day with doors and windows shut. It is so ridiculous! Christina found out at a neighborhood meeting that there is an ordinance in Birmingham. We are planning on starting to call SOON! The assholes make me so mad!

John Little said...

Doesn't look like Alexander City's municipal ordinances are online. They ought to be.

Deb Murphree/Alabama Politics said...

I agree with you, Loretta. That was uncalled for. Loud music, is uncalled for, and ESPECIALLY sexually explicit language being blasted to the public, whether they ask for it or not LOL.

sixstring said...

This is disorderly conduct and disturbing the peace. Should already be against the law without a noise ordinance.