Showing posts with label gary aldridge dildo wetsuit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gary aldridge dildo wetsuit. Show all posts

Monday, January 07, 2008

DAME Magazine: Alabama vs. Dildo's


The article in DAME Magazine about the Sex Toys for Troy King is now available online.

Alabama vs. Dildos
Attorney General Troy King stands hard against stimulators

By David Holthouse
Published: Dec 10, 2007

Last November 15th, UPS delivered a box to Alabama Attorney General Troy King. Inside was a “Ms. Piglet” blow-up sex doll. “The Original Inflatable Party Pig” was a gift from Loretta Nall, 33, a popular Alabama blogger, Libertarian activist and former gubernatorial candidate (“Vote Nall, Y’all”) who spearheaded a “Sex Toys for Troy King” drive in protest of Alabama’s “Anti-Obscenity Enforcement Act.” That law criminalizes the sale of dildos, clitoral vibrators or any other “…device designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs.

“What’s next, knobby cucumbers?” says Nall.

According to the actual language of the law, sex toys are obscene because they promote a “prurient interest in autonomous sex” through “the pursuit of orgasm by artificial means.” Its penalties are stiff. While selling a handgun to a child is a trivial crime in Alabama punishable by no more than a $500 fine, violators of the dildo ban are subject to one year of prison or hard labor as well as a $10,000 fine.

In other words, Alabama lawmakers deemed that G-spot stimulators in the hands of consenting adults are more of a threat to public safety and welfare than Glock .45s in the hands of children.

“The difference is, firearms are not inherently immoral,” says Rev. Dan Ireland, executive director of the Alabama Citizens Action Program, a coalition of conservative Baptist preachers and activists who claim to serve as “Alabama’s moral compass.”

“There are moral ways and immoral ways to use a firearm,” says Ireland, whose organization is clamoring for stringent enforcement of the dildo ban. “There is no moral way to use one of these devices [sex toys].”
READ THE REST

Here is Dan Ireland's email address if anyone would like to inform him that he does not serve as a "moral compass" for every citizen of this state. I'm sure he'd love to hear from you. After all, everyone needs a good dose of reality once in a while.

Many thanks to David Holthouse and DAME Magazine for this story. Still waiting on the one in Rolling Stone. Was talking to Peter Wilkinson from RS just a few minutes ago about the Webster Alexander Principal story. Hope they decide to bust that predatory fuck-wad in the nuts with another scathing RS article. Didn't mention to Peter the Troy King blurb slated for the Desk of National Affairs because he isn't the one who wrote the piece. Will update everyone on that one when I get new info.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

The Funniest Shit Ever!!

I've been following the story of Thorington Road Baptist Church Reverend Gary Aldridge's bizarre and exquisitely embarassing death by auto-erotic asphyxiation while wearing two wetsuits, rubber underwear and a condom covered dildo inserted into his nether region. My buddy BitterOldPunk directed me to ScienceBlogs.com where I found some of the most hilarious comments ever. My favorite so far is this lulu of a poem by some brilliant, poetic genius calling themselves 'Cuttlefish'.

We gather here to eulogize
The Pastor and the Man
Old Gary Aldridge, often wise,
Though not his latest plan.

A member of the Christian nation,
Friend of Jerry Falwell,
His last attempt at masturbation
Didn't go at all well.

For fifteen years, he'd preached the word
A Southern Baptist minister
His death--now, is it just absurd
Or something rather sinister?

How does a person come to wear
Not one wetsuit, but two?
(Although, I know, I should not care
I'm curious--aren't you?)

I tend to think that, years ago,
He spied a rubber glove,
And wondered "Should I--well, you know--
When God and I make love?"

He tried it on, and found a tube,
Half hidden on his shelf,
Of KY--smiled, and murmered "Lube
Thy neighbor as thy self."

And minutes later, hard at work,
He felt a little odd
Was this a sin, or just a quirk?
He talked it out with God.

"Is what I'm doing here a sin?
Or is my pleasure Thine?
Is this as bad as skin on skin?
Lord, please, give me a sign!"

So God produced a pamphlet: "Your
Vacation in Aruba!"
And pointed out--right there, page four--
The wetsuits used for SCUBA

See, God's not really how you think
A deity might be
He's got a wicked bondage kink
(Just ask His son, J. C.)

So Gary died, not steeped in sin
But following God's plan;
So straight to Heaven--come on in!
And bring the wetsuits, man!

A story, sure, but it may yet
Explain what happened then.
The moral is, please don't forget:
Your safeword is "Amen".


I ruptured some internal organ while howling over that one.

This one too...

He was actually found wearing a "Vote GW Bush 2004" T-shirt. The police just dressed him in that other stuff to lower the embarrassment factor for the family. Posted by: MartinC

Seriously though click the link above and read all these gems. It seems I am not the only one wondering how two wetsuits was possible?