Sleep Paralisys

I've got it...had it for years...it really SUX! I'm talking about sleep paralisys. If you have never heard of it then you are probably lucky and do not experience it. Here is the definition from Wikipedia.

" Sleep paralysis is a condition characterized by temporary paralysis of the body shortly after waking up (known as hypnopompic paralysis) or, less often, shortly before falling asleep (known as hypnagogic paralysis).[1]

Physiologically, it is closely related to the paralysis that occurs as a natural part of REM (rapid eye movement) sleep, which is known as REM atonia. Sleep paralysis occurs when the brain awakes from a REM state, but the bodily paralysis persists. This leaves the person fully aware, but unable to move. In addition, the state may be accompanied by hypnagogic hallucinations.

The primary symptom of sleep paralysis is partial or complete skeletal muscle paralysis during the hypnopompic or hypnagogic states. In other words, it is the sense of being aware that one is unable to move or speak while falling asleep or waking up. Sleep paralysis may also be accompanied by hypnagogic hallucinations.[2] These hallucinations can be auditory, tactile, and/or visual."

I have the hypnagogic version. Despite having it for years it still scares the absolute hell out of me every time it happens. I am always convinced that I am not breathing when it happens, which in turn makes me panic. In order to break it you really have to focus every part of your whole being on either moving your eyes, facial muscles or to make a noise in hopes of waking up the person next to you. It happened to me about 15 times this morning. That caused me to only get about three hours of sleep today and I have to work 10 hours tonight. Man I am exhausted.

Here are some of the things believed to cause sleep paralisys.

Sleep paralysis occurs during REM sleep in order to prevent the body from manifesting movements made in the subject's dreams. Very little is known about the physiology of sleep paralysis. However, some have suggested that it may be linked to post-synaptic inhibition of motor neurons in the pons region of the brain. In particular, low levels of melatonin may stop the depolarization current in the nerves, which prevents the stimulation of the muscles, to prevent the body from enacting the dreamt activity (e.g. preventing a sleeper from flailing his legs when dreaming about running).

Many people who commonly enter sleep paralysis also suffer from narcolepsy. However, various studies suggest that many or most people will experience sleep paralysis at least once or twice in their lives.

While I am a longtime sufferer of SP I do not suffer from narcolepsy.

Some reports read that various factors increase the likelihood of both paralysis and hallucinations.

Let's see how many of these possible causes I have.

Sleeping in an upwards supine position (no)

Irregular sleeping schedules; naps, sleeping in, sleep deprivation (Yes)

Increased stress (Boy Howdy!)

Sudden environmental/lifestyle changes ( I live on the edge of chaos)

A lucid dream that immediately precedes the episode. (Sometimes)

Also conscious induction of sleep paralysis is a common technique to enter a state of lucid dreams, also known as WILD[1] . (I can't imagine anyone doing it on purpose)

Artificial sleeping aids, ADD medications and/or antihistamines. (Yes)

Recent use of hallucinogenic drugs. (Gave up hallucinogenics long, long ago)

Here are some potential treatments;

During paralysis episodes, patients may be advised to try moving the facial muscles and moving eyes from one side to the other. This may hasten the termination of the attack.
Clonazepam is highly effective in the treatment of sleep paralysis.[5] (No thanks...I've been a Klonipin junkie before) The initial dose is 0.5 mg at bedtime, while an increase to 1 mg per night might be necessary to maintain potency. Anecdotal reports indicate SSRIs such as fluoxetine markedly decrease the incidence of sleep paralysis. Several people who have been both on and off SSRIs have reported corresponding decreases and increases in sleep paralysis episodes. Others report no effects at all.

I always try and make noise to wake up my husband who can then reach over and shake me thereby re-engaging my muscles. Sometimes I think I am making incredibly huge amounts of noise when in reality I haven't made a squeak. Other times I am able to manage a low, urgent whine, which usually helps me to wake up. I try moving my eyes. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. If I keep laying in bed after an episode then it occurs over and over and over. I get scared because it is going to happen again and then I can't get back to sleep. It's a vicious circle.

Do any of my readers suffer from it? How do you combat it?

YAWN!!! It is now time to get ready for another very long shift at Wal-Mart which is about the last thing on planet earth I want to do. I think being boiled in oil might be more fun. Hope y'all sleep well...I know I won't be.

Night Shift is Kickin' My Ass!

So, I'm still working at Wal-Mart and it has been an interesting adventure thus far. It has taken some serious adjusting to get used to working with the public again...not to mention the other employees. At first, it was sort of like what I imagine waking up on another planet would be like. But after a week it's more like say... waking up in another country, so I guess that means I am adjusting.

Third shift hours are kicking my ass though. Having real trouble to adopting the hours of a vampire. No matter how dead tired I am when I get home in the mornings I can never manage to sleep more than four hours straight. Sometimes only three. I also find it difficult to go back to sleep after I get up from an initial nap. Today I was so worn out that I took an Ambien....and slept like the dead. While I was hoping I would wake refreshed I actually feel heavily doped...even though I got eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. It is entirely possible that I am still asleep now and will not remember writing this post when I actually am awake and discover it on my blog.

The work part isn't bad. It's dull and boring. In fact, a deaf, blind, quadraplegic on life support could do it. From about 9 or 10 til midnight I run a register. Sometimes it's the cigarette register and sometimes it's not. Once midnight comes I go to the customer service desk and push buggies full of merchandise back to their area of the store and place it back on the shelves. There is lots of walking involved, which is good because I need to walk but I need much better shoes cause my feet hurt like a bastard. I bet I put in three or four miles a night. Last night I was tapped to be door greeter for an hour. You know....the person who stands at the door and says, "Welcome to Wal-Mart" and "Have a great day" or my version of it "Y'all come back". Talk about a dull, boring, how-the-hell-do-they-expect-me-to-stay-awake job. I almost went face first into the buggies I had lined up for any 3 a.m. shoppers that might happen through our doors.

I have some very interesting co-workers. I hesitate to discuss them here because you never know who is reading your blog and it is time for me to get ready to go do the Wal-Mart shuffle anyway.

More on my adventures at Wally-World when I once again find myself coherent enough to type.

Y'all come back.

Incarceration No Cure for Addiction

From the Montgomery Advertiser


Letters

Incarceration no cure for addiction

I want to thank Chief Justice Sue Bell Cobb publicly for her efforts to ease prison overcrowding and address drug addiction with a more compassionate approach. It is so important for society to realize that addiction is an illness that can be treated and not a crime that needs punishing.

Many of you know me as a voice for drug policy and prison reform in Alabama and as a candidate for governor in 2006. I am also a family member who has witnessed the devastating impact that drugs and alcohol can have on human lives.

I have two brothers -- one in prison and one who just overdosed for the ninth time on methadone provided to him by the VA. I love them both very much, despite their addictions. I know for a fact locking them in prison does not work.

While I am happy to see drug courts expand in Alabama, I fear that they will simply round up pot smokers to fill their treatment beds. Those beds should be kept available for people suffering from addiction to hard drugs like alcohol, methamphetamine, crack/power cocaine and opiates, both pharmaceutical and street versions.

Marijuana should be exempt from all criminal sanctions, police involvement, and court oversight when used responsibly by adults.

Taking responsible adult pot smokers out of the drug court equation will greatly enable the drug courts to better help the people who really need it.

Loretta Nall
Alexander City

Phone Call from a Desperate Mom

About 7 am this morning my phone began to ring. Since I have to work tonight and was trying to rest up for it I got up and turned off the ringer. I didn't recognize the number which was Mobile, AL based.

When I did finally get out of bed I noticed that the same number had called me around 20 times. I checked my messages and on one of them was a desperate sopunding woman who said, "I read your letter about drug courts in the Press-Register and I desperately need some help to save my son from going to prison." She gave her number and asked me to call back.

I called her back and this is the story she told me.

She has a 21 year old son, who has never been in any trouble, held a regular job and was raising his two year old son. She said back last year four other men started giving him some trouble, threatening him, driving by his house and so forth. She said they had filed multiple police reports but the cops never did anything. She said one day it escalated drastically when the four men cut her son off while he was driving down the road, pulled him out of the car, beat him badly and stuck a gun in his mouth. They filed another police report and still the cops did nothing. A few days later these same four men started driving by their home again and the son shot at the car twice, hitting the car but not hitting anyone inside. Then the cops decided to do something....arrest her son for shooting into an occupied vehicle.

So, the mom helps the son hire a lawyer and go to court where the judge sentenced him to three years but suspended it and put him on probation. On his first visit to his probation officer, which was 26 days after he was sentenced, he was drug tested and tested dirty for marijuana. His probation was revoked and he has been locked in Mobile Metro since mid-June and is about to be sent away to prison for at least a year.

I have a lot of issues with this whole thing.

First, if the story is being told like it actually happened, then this gentleman's use of a firearm against people who had clearly demonstrated that they were a threat to his life and the lives of his mother and son, was a clear cut case of self-defense. What would you have done in his shoes?

Second, the drug test. It takes at least 30 days and in some cases as many as 45 days before marijuana is out of your system. This kid got tested at 26 days after being sentenced to probation. He may not have even smoked any since he was sentenced...but now he is going to prison for it anyway.

Third...prison for dirty pee. That is about as insane as it gets in my book. As crowded as our prisons are and as many people on the streets that actually need to be in there we can somehow still find room for someone whose pee is not up to government standard. That costs us a minimum of $12,000 a year. What makes it worse is that this young man had a job and was caring for his young son and prior to all of this he had never been in trouble. Now the taxpayers will have to pay for him and his young son. They ripped him out of his life, away from his job, away from his child, completely disrupted everything and caused emotional trauma that will leave scars forever...all for a little dirty pee.

Four, his mother has a private facility for him to be released to for drug treatment. The reason the DOC says he needs prison is to go through the Substance Abuse Program (SAP). SAP program or not prison is no place for anyone who truly needs drug or alcohol treatment. If the mother has a place for her son to go and is willing to foot the bill then why is the DOC still demanding that taxpayers foot the bill?

This has to stop.

I talked with this lady for a little while and told her I would talk around to my people and see what could be done to keep her son out of prison. I also mentioned the Court Watch program that myself and a few good friends have started and asked her interest level. She said to let her know when I can get some folks down there for a meeting and she will have hordes of people who are sick and tired of this shit lined up and ready to do some direct citizen action!

Look out Mobile...here we come..

Ass Sitters

Day Two at Wal-Mart

Not a particularly exciting day. I went in at 8 and took tests on the computer all day. I got done with the final one about 10 minutes before time to clock out. If I understood what the personnel lady said yesterday then, the next time I go back to work I will be put on the floor to train. I am ready for the register. Having to sit in front of a computer with a screen with pulsating light makes my head hurt like a bastard and makes me nauseous....although the Excedrin helped a great deal today. Having to sit in front of a computer for 8 hours that I can't check my email on is maddening. Oh well, that's why I have a cell phone with email capabilities.

I have already determined that there are two groups of people at this store. The ones who work and the ones who sit in the break room all day long and never hit the floor until they are paged. That second group is mostly made up of complainers. I do not know if their reasons for complaining are valid, but they strike me as the type of people who would not be happy under any circumstances. One is a woman I worked with some years ago at a different place. She's an ass-sitter, a complainer, and a trouble maker...was when I first met her, too. That she has been employed at Wal-Mart for some years now makes me wonder what kind of ship they are running.

Now, I know it sounds like I am on a soapbox....but I am a stickler for good customer service. There is little that pisses me off more than to walk into Wal-Mart, drop $150 for groceries or whatever and have a cashier treat me like I shit in her cornflakes this morning. You know the kind I'm talking about...the one that looks all surly, angry, doesn't speak to you, acts like she would rather be boiled in oil than be behind that register...the one who acts like there must be a million other companies lined up to hire her and she doesn't give a damn about you, your money or the fact that without you she would not be getting paid. I could choke'em til their eyes popped out of their heads. If you come thru my line then I will treat you very well. That's a promise. It has nothing to do with what compay I am working for....with me it's a personal thing. Money is hard to come by so you better damn well smile at me and say hello when I am spending my hard earned dough.

If I ever get to the point where I look and act as miserable as that, then I'll just move on to something else. Chances are I will not be getting paid enough to be that miserable 8 hours a day.

Day One at Wal-Mart

You know, it wasn't bad at all. It's been a while since I have worked an hourly job that puts me in direct contact with the public. I didn't get much public contact yesterday because it was all orientation, watching videos, taking tests on the computer and filling out paperwork. I will be there from 8-4 today finishing up orientation and then hopefully I will be ready to rock-n-roll on my register. I remember cashiering, before I became so heavily involved in politics that it consumed my life, and I always enjoyed it. I can talk and cut up with anyone. Since I am a being that requires hyper-stimulation in order to function at my best cashiering has always been something of a good fit.

I have to say that I am pleasantly surprised by the benefits offered to employees. They have a 401k, stock purchase options, two health insurance plans, one for new hires,which will cover three regular doctor visits per family member per year with a $20 co-pay and $10 prescriptions, and one for people that have been there a year or more that offers more coverage. The drawback was that the deductible is very high, but the premium is affordable. They also offer counseling if you have personal problems, drug and alcohol treatment if you come forward and say you have a problem....if they catch you having a problem however, they will fire you.

For every eight hour shift I get an hour lunch break off the clock and two 15 minute breaks on the clock. I had worried about having nicotine fits but that didn't happen yesterday. Even cooler is that they provide a smoking room for employees. Not too many places do that anymore.

By the time I left last night my head was splitting down the middle. I had one of the worst headaches I can remember having in a long time. I think it was a combination of the fluorescent lighting and having to crane my neck up to look at the tv while watching videos. Today I'll be taking my Excedrin with me.

Y'all hold the fort down til I get back.

Loretta...LIVE from Wal-Mart!

Two months after I first applied and after the last two weeks spent begging, groveling and even peeing in a little plastic cup in order to be bestowed with a magnificent blue vest festooned with a bright yellow smiley face, I do believe I have finally landed a job at Wal-Mart. I went in for my interview on Thursday, took the drug test afterwards and they called last night to tell me to come in for my orientation today.

Once I am finished with orientation I will be working 10 pm to 7 am. My position will be cashier for register 16, which at my local Wal-Mart is the tobacco register....the only register in the whole store that sells tobacco products. To make purchasing tobacco products even more of a pain in the ass there is a limit of 10 items per customer on that register. Often times I see many people ignoring the 10 item limit and driving whole carts stuffed with goodies through that register. I undertsand their frustration with the only register in the store that sells tobacco products having a 10 item limit. Let's hope I can rely on my sense of humor to get me through the times when they do it to me.

I know many people have a negative image of Wal-Mart. I have never worked there and had ferverently hoped I would never have to. However, I have a lot of new expenses cropping up. For instance, my son has been chosen as an Ambassador to England and Ireland in 2008 and that will cost a pretty penny for sure. He is also hoping to be accepted into Alabama School of Math and Science ,which comes with a hefty, but well worth it, price tag. He has to take the ACT in October. I feel very confident that he will make a high score and be accepted. He brought me a geometry test a couple weeks ago with 110 A+ at the top. I always hated advanced math in school, with geometry being one of my worst subjects. I can't even draw a straight line with a ruler. I can add, subtract, multiply and divide til the cows come home...but that advanced stuff makes my head hurt.

Anyway, I am glad they hired me because I need the money to make these great opportunities a reality for my son. The pay is a lot higher than I anticipated it would be for a starting cashier position. I was pleasantly surprised. I am not sure what benefits are available. I hope to find out today. I know that employee appreciation is lacking though. While I was being interviewed one of the personnel ladies was opening huge packs of generic weiners...(you know the kind with the red dye in them that are made out of god knows what), and placing them into a turkey roasting pan. Another employee came in and asked her what she was doing.

Weiner opener: "So and so has been here 20 years today so management is having a little party for her."

Other employee: "Wow, thanks for 20 years of service....here's a weenie to show our appreciation."

I cracked up right in the middle of the interview. If most of the employees there have that kind of sarcastic brilliance why, I think I might fit right in.

Y'all offer up a prayers and/or happy thoughts for me today.

Remove Pot Smokers from Drug Court Equation

The Mobile Press-Register published the following LTE from me today about drug courts. This one is an unedited version of the one ran by The Tuscaloosa News a few days ago.

Letters, faxes, and e-mail
Saturday, September 08, 2007

I want to thank Chief Justice Sue Bell Cobb publicly for her efforts to ease prison overcrowding and address drug addiction with a more compassionate approach. It is so important for society to realize that addiction is an illness that can be treated and not a crime that needs punishing.

Regardless of how people get addicted, they are still someone's mother, father, daughter, son, husband, wife or friend. Not one of them longed to be an alcoholic or drug addict when he or she was a kid.

Many of you know me as a voice for drug policy and prison reform in Alabama and as a candidate for governor in the 2006 election. I am also a family member who has witnessed the devastating impact that drugs and alcohol can have on human lives.

I have two brothers, one in prison and one who just overdosed for the ninth time on methadone provided to him by the VA. I love them both very much, despite their addictions. I know for a fact that locking such folks in prison does not work. It simply drives them insane, and when they are released it's like they are coming out of a war zone.

While I am happy to see drug courts expand in Alabama, I fear that they will simply round up pot-smokers to fill their treatment beds. Those beds should be kept available for people suffering from addiction to hard drugs like alcohol, methamphetamine, crack/powder cocaine and opiates, both pharmaceutical and street versions.

However, pot-smokers are much more numerous than all other drug users combined, and chances are some of these courts will get the majority of their funds from responsible adult marijuana consumers.

So much for the theory of safety in numbers. If that is allowed to happen, then we will find ourselves in the same predicament that we have with the prisons: too many people who don't need to be there taking up all the room for those who do need to be there.

When used responsibly by adults, marijuana should be exempt from all criminal sanctions, police involvement and court oversight. We all know it is safer than alcohol and not addictive to the degree that anyone actually suffers withdrawal if he or she quits.

Unless people who smoke pot are doing something to endanger others, there is no reason for the police or the courts to be involved.

Taking responsible adult pot-smokers out of the drug court equation will greatly enable the drug courts to better help the people who really need help.

LORETTA NALL

Alexander City

Free at Last!

I just got word that my brother Randy has been released from prison work release in Loxley, AL. I will be picking him up in Montgomery in the morning around 1:30 a.m.
I can't wait to see him!

The last time I saw him was in Jan. of this year when I attended a hearing in Clay Co. He has been in prison for four years for being an alcoholic. I am planning to involve him in my work in drug policy and prison reform. Goodness knows he has the credentials and those who have been kicked in the teeth make the best activists. He EOS'd today so there won't be any probation bullshit that could keep him from becoming an advocate.

More on Mandatory Auto Insurance

Right after the "Take Back Our Highways" campaign I wrote a blog post called Let me see your papers. I also had letters about it published in the Tuscaloosa News, the Mobile Press-Register, the Montgomery Advertiser and the Anniston Star

The Birmingham News carried a piece today titled State drivers short on coverage which states that Alabama is tied with California for second place for the highest number of uninsured drivers.

It goes on to say,

Financial resources sometimes play a role in whether motorists are insured, Richards said. "More motorists are insured in affluent counties, but fewer motorists are insured in the counties that aren't as blessed," the trooper said.

Which brings us back to my original problem with mandatory auto insurance.

1. Some people cannot afford auto insurance. I feel pretty certain that most people would buy auto insurance if they could afford it. No one wants to chance being involved in an accident where they might not only lose their only mode of transportation but might also be badly injured and might badly injure others thereby putting themselves at risk for losing anything and everything they own. But, fact is they cannot afford an extra $50 or $60 or more a month. It does not exist.

2. Fining people without auto insurance a whopping $500 is insane. If they had $500 just laying around then they probably would have had insurance. Not only do they still not have insurance they now have a huge court fine to pay with money they don't have. If they are able to beg and borrow the $500 shouldn't that go towards the insurance coverage that is so important that it is now mandatory? Here is what happens if you can't pay the fine.

3. In response to some of my lte's in those various papers people said, "Use public transportation", but there is no public transportation in rural areas. Others said, "Insurance is cheap" but $50 to $60 is a lot of money if you don't have it.

We have a real problem here with a law that disproportionately affects the impoverished citizens of this state. I won't deny that people need auto insurance. But, if some people can't afford it, it is wrong to impose additional financial burden on them, make it illegal/impossible for them to travel to and from work and other places one needs to travel to carry out day to day life functions, especially in areas where there is no public transportation available.

Just what exactly are poor people suppossed to do?

I am glad to see this blurb in the Birmingham News and I hope that other papers will continue to cover this issue in order to foster discussion about solutions.

Mobile Judge Accused of Paddling Inmates

The Mobile Press-Register is reporting suspended Mobile County Circuit Judge Herman Thomas is being investigated for allegedly paddling inmates. The newspaper is reporting Thomas is accused of periodically removing prisoners from Mobile County Metro Jail and spanking them in a room at the courthouse. According to the Press-Regiser, once inside the room, the judge would ask the men to drop their pants and prepare to be spanked with what was described as a wooden paddle. Judge Thomas told the Press Register that he did not have any comment on the allegations. Sources also say that between six to 12 men have shared their accounts with investigators. Thomas is preparing for an October 29th judicial ethics trial in Montgomery that could remove him from the bench permanently. Those ethics charges allege that he helped his cousin, former Mobile County School Board Commissioner David Thomas, Jr. Investigators say Judge Thomas removed David Thomas from the crowded Mobile Metro Jail to the Prichard City Jail when Thomas was ordered to serve a week long sentence for leaving the scene of an accident that injured a little girl. The NAACP is holding a news conference right now.

I have come to the conclusion that many people in positions of power quickly become bored. They seek constant hyper-stimulation and pretty soon they run out of things with which to amuse themselves...so they turn to the forbidden, the taboo and the absolutely strange.

I suppose it is a real kicker to do something like Senator Craig did which is to gay bash his whole career while trying to fuck every random male he encountered in an airport bathroom. What a thrill!
Same for the preacher guy who was smoking meth and banging male prostitutes and preachin' the word uh Jesus on Sunday to a televised audience. Ye Gads wouldn't that make the juices flow!

I wonder if Thomas ever put a guy in jail because he thought he had a nice ass that he might be able to paddle?

These people are sick man!

H/TDan

Leave Pot Smokers Alone

The Tuscaloosa News printed the following LTE from me today regarding the expansion of drug courts in Alabama.

Thanks T-Town News!


LEAVE MARIJUANA SMOKERS ALONE

Dear Editor: I want to thank Chief Justice Sue Bell Cobb for her
efforts to ease prison overcrowding and address drug addiction with a
more compassionate approach. It is so important for society to
realize that addiction is an illness that can be treated and not a
crime that needs punishing.

Many of you know me as a voice for drug policy and prison reform in
Alabama and as a candidate for governor in 2006. I am also a family
member who has witnessed the devastating impact that drugs and
alcohol can have. I have two brothers, one in prison and one who just
overdosed for the ninth time on methadone provided to him by the
Veterans Administration. I know for a fact locking them in prison
does not work.

While I am happy to see drug courts expand in Alabama, I fear that
they will simply round up pot smokers to fill their treatment beds.
Marijuana should be exempt from all criminal sanctions, police
involvement and court oversight when used responsibly by adults. We
all know it is safer than alcohol and not addictive to the degree
that anyone actually suffers withdrawals if they quit. I say unless
people who smoke pot are doing something to endanger others, there is
no reason for the police or the courts to be involved. Taking
responsible, adult pot smokers out of the drug court equation will
greatly enable the drug courts to better help the people that really need it.

Loretta Nall

Alexander City

Delayed Shock

I think I am experiencing delayed shock over my brother's death and resuscitation last week in Tuscaloosa. It's like I have been walking around in a daze all week long. I keep having dreams about it and I rarely remember dreaming anything. I can't even remember what these dreams are about only the vague, haunting, certainty that they are about what happened that day.

It sort of reminds me of doing a live interview on National TV. I never know how well or poorly I did until I have had time to watch the video a few times and analyze every word. People always seem to have incredibly positive and excited reactions and they ask me, "Loretta, how do you do it?"

I don't know how I do it. It's like going on auto-pilot. The information is just stored in my brain and, when called upon, it comes to the front and center.

Certainly, my brother dying from a drug overdose in the seat next to me while I was driving down the road is much different than a TV interview, but I keep asking myself how I did what I did when it happened. I don't have the convenience of having the entire episode on video tape and, somehow, that should seem like a blessing. The drawback is that I have the whole incredibly, damn frightening, horror show in my brain, going reel-to-reel and I can't shut it off.

I saved him, avoided him having brain damage or permanent injury due to lack of oxygen, made all the right calls and did everything the 911 operator told me to do and that should be enough to judge everything I did or didn't do as a job well done. I am not sure my delayed reactions to it are being born out of a need to judge my performance though. I have been through many traumatic events in my life including the death of an infant to SIDS in 2000. I guess after that kind of shock it possibly takes longer for the shock to set in the next time a major traumatic event occurs in ones life.

I just feel really fucking weird!

My brother is back at the VA in Tuscaloosa. He remained in DCH for two days and was transferred to Northport, where the doctor in charge negotiated his return to the VA. At first the VA refused to take him because he had already been there over 21 days before he was released and this happened. They refused him entry into the PTSD program because they want people going through that to have been stable for a certain period of time. After they found out that if they did not take him back they would be responsible for the bill for the extended stay at a civilian hospital they changed their mind.

I do not have a lot of faith that they can help my brother. They have been remarkably unsuccessful so far. However, he has to want to fix his broken life or there is no help for him. I believe he realizes that this is truly rock bottom and will grasp the lifesaver that has been thrown to him.

Here's hoping......