Stick to poisonous snakes, Reverend!

A preacher in Cullman, (a very special place ;) ), complained about the 'pornographic' pictures on men's underwear....and the Sheriff got involved....and WALMART withdrew the packaging.

No, sadly, I am not kidding.

Cullman Times

CULLMAN — A local pastor’s complaint about a brand of underwear being sold with “pornographic” pictures on the packaging at the Cullman Walmart reportedly led to a recall of the product.

Frank Boren, pastor of New Hope Christian Center Church of God in the Springhill community, said he noticed the questionable underwear package while shopping at the store in May.

“I was in there shopping for some underwear one day, and looked at the men’s pictures on the packaging,” he said. “On a few of the packages they were very pornographic in the way they were dressed, in skimpy underwear, so I went to the manager and asked her if she thought it was inappropriate to be displayed.”
READ MORE.

Here are some suggestions for the good Reverend.

1. Get a life

2. Someone subscribe that man to Playgirl

3. Hold a drawer check at the door of the church on Sunday to make sure no sinners come in wearing those drawers.

4. Reckon Jesus's loin cloth gets the preacher all hot and bothered?

5. Stick to dancing with poisonous snakes Reverend....since trouser snakes so clearly offend you.

It's idiots like this who make Alabama such a hellish place to live.

There are no pictures of the offensive drawer package, unfortunately.

I'm surrounded by Idiots!

Yeah, yeah I know...I shouldn't be surprised. After all I have lived here all my life and should be used to willful ignorance and prideful stupidity. But, I never get used to it. It's almost like the logical thought process has been bred out of the gene pool in nearly all of Alabama.

On the local news forum at the Alex City Outlook some dufus is trying to blame the fire that killed the four young Mississippi college students on the fact that the person who accidentally started the fire was in this country on an expired visa. Their take...Well you'll just have to read the garbage for yourself.

NASCAR Rednecks Plan Mass Chicken Dance

I couldn't make this shit up

And guess who thinks it's an affront to chickens to have a bunch of chicken eatin', beer swillin' NASCAR fans dancing the chicken and yelling WOOOOOOOOOO at the top of their lungs? PETA

It'll make for great theater to be sure. I wonder if this guy will be there?

Gee, I Guess We'll Have To Rub Sticks Together

Alabama Representative Arthur Payne (R- Jefferson) wants to ban novelty lighters in Alabama. That's right....BAN them...making it unlawful to manufacture, distribute, import, retail sale, or give away lighters as prizes or promotions to sell or give away an operable novelty lighter in this state.

Novelty lighter is defined as follows:

For the purposes of this act, novelty lighter means a mechanical or electrical device typically used for lighting cigarettes, cigars, or pipes that has entertaining audio or visual effects, or that resembles in physical form or function articles commonly recognized as toys appealing to or intended for use by children. This includes, but is not limited to, lighters that resemble cartoon characters, toys, guns, watches, musical instruments, vehicles, toy animals, food or beverages, or that play musical notes or have flashing lights or other entertaining features. A novelty lighter may operate on any type of fuel, including butane or liquid fuel.


That this bill has been placed on a committee calendar is just beyond me. Aren't there other, more pressing issues in Alabama right now than...novelty lighters? Has there suddenly been a rash of fires started by children playing with novelty lighters? Oh, I know, I know, 'it's for the safety of the children.' But, a kid, or anyone else for that matter can start a fire with a book of matches, a non-novelty lighter and even a magnifying glass if they are creative enough.

I REFUSE to give up my flashing lighter that features SpongeBob SquarePants singing "Burning Down The House". NEVER! From my crispy fried fingers!

(Filed under 'I couldn't make this shit up')

I'm Sorry...Rep. Steve Hurst is an Idiot!

Filed under...I Couldn't Make This Shit Up, Stupid Alabama Legislator Tricks and No He Didn't!


QUOTE OF THE DAY

"I don't want them to get in the wrong hands. I would hate to see children or teenagers having TASER parties and shooting each other." - Rep. Steve Hurst, D-Munford, discussing bill to require permits to carry concealed stun guns.

Last week Hurst tired to outlaw them altogether.

I've never even heard of such a thing as a stun gun party, wherein teens shoot each other for fun. Never. He literally pulled that one out of his demented nether-region. Rep. Steve Hurst makes it sound as though being shot with 50,000 volts of electricity is a pleasurable experience....like smoking weed or something. What an absolute dufus! I wonder if he has ever tried it?

If not, then I volunteer to get him 'fried' by shocking him with a TASER on the condition that I can video tape his reaction and post it on YouTube. That'd be worth the $50,000 a year he is being paid to be an Alabama legislator....whereas, this is NOT!






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