MISERY!!!

Until yesterday morning I had never had a broken bone in all 33 years of my life. Truth be told I could have lived another 33 without ever acquiring firsthand knowledge of just how badly having a broken bone (especially a hoof) SUCKS!!

What used to be a 10 second walk to the bathroom has turned into what seems like an uphill marathon of grueling proportions. Hell, my heart rate gets up and I break a sweat making that trek on crutches. Trying to find my balance on one leg, once I set the crutches aside, ain't no walk in the park either. I know I must look similar to a flamingo....but far, far less graceful.

The pain is pretty bad. Right now it has me up at 2 a.m. typing on this computer when I should be in bed mending. However, the cast has a contact point with the back of my heel and it feels like it is on fire. I can't make it stop burning for anything. I'm thinking I might amputate before the sun rises. I'll be like Caroline Ingalls on that episode of "Little House on the Prairie" when her leg got infected while Charles and the girls were away and she had the butcher knife, the tourniquet and the boiling water rocking and rolling when Charles walked in and caught her. Only in my amputation....I won't get caught. I might not have enough Percocet to do it painlessly...but amputating without good drugs couldn't hurt much worse.

For the next few weeks until I can bear weight again my sweet doggie will have to stay outside in his fence M-F from 6 am to 4 pm. I'm gonna miss him. I won't even be able to go outside and wuv on him. He and I will both be unhappy campers for a while. Saul has done very well with me being laid up. He gently sniffed my cast a few times but hasn't tried to chew on it, stays out of the way when I have to hobble somewhere on my crutches and close by wherever I am when I am sitting or laying. He is curious about the crutches. I'm scared he is gonna decide that they are big silver sticks made for his chewing pleasure....while I am walking on them. That or he's gonna decide they are big silver aliens trying to eat his mommy....while I am walking on them....but so far so good.

It's 2:30 a.m. and I want some coffee. Somebody unplugged my coffee maker yesterday so now I have to wait for like an hour til the water is hot enough to make coffee. I have a Bunn coffee maker that keeps water hot 24/7....unless someone unplugs it. I managed to get it plugged back up, get coffee in the basket and water in the pot. What I haven't figured out is how I am gonna get a cup of scalding coffee from the pot to the table with no hands without waking up a member of my family and asking for assistance. That'll be a neat feat indeed. It's likely I'll wind up with third degree burns on top of a broke foot.

Not being able to do simple, everyday tasks for myself is getting old quick. While some folks might milk a broke foot for all it's worth I am finding mine to be an extreme annoyance. I can't dress myself, I can't hold anything and walk, I can't get up and get something if I need it. No, Ms. Independent is stuck at the mercy of others. My family has been great so far. My husband got up and turned the bathroom light on for me at 2 a.m. My son just got up and walked a cup of coffee over to me at 2:45 a.m. That's some serious love there. My daughter waited on me hand and foot yesterday with nary a complaint. She even undertook tackling my dirty kitchen of her own free will...so I guess having a broke foot does have some advantages after all.

I won't be able to drive for a long time and that will take some getting used to. I am used to covering most of the state in a week via car. In order to get to Montgomery and torment Troy King and his ilk I'll have to get a ride to and from the house. All of the Compassionate Care meetings will have to be moved to Alex City until I can drive again. Luckily my friend Christie O'Brien, who coincidentally is about to have a cast removed from her right hoof, has said she would help out once she is mobile again.

I itch under my cast. And I can't get to the place that itches. It's MISERY!