Friday, November 30, 2007

My Kid is a GENIUS!

A little later today my 15 year-old son and I will be heading to Mobile. Alex (my son) is a prospective student at The Alabama School of Math & Science for his junior and senior years and tomorrow is Open House.

While any parent would be proud of their kid in this situation I have to say that I am prouder than most....mainly because his major academic success is such a slap in the face to the propagnada spewing prohibitionists, government officials and law enforcement entities who would have you believe that any child of an admitted marijuana consumer who lives in a trailer and possesses only a GED should have at least two heads, make F-'s on everything they do, stay in trouble with the law and be generally non-benificial to society.

My daughter is also brilliant and very artistically gifted. She has her sights set on the Alabama School of Fine Arts in Birmingham when she enters the 7th grade.

Here's proof positive that parents who smoke pot can also be responsible in rearing children, be involved in their school work and have kids that are in the running to be Valedictorian, are recipients of National Merit scholarships, are Beta club members...the list goes on and on.

So a huge "RASPBERRY" nanner nanner nanner to all those who espouse the idea that pot smokers can't raise healthy, happy, well adjusted and productive kids.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Sex Toys for Troy King Makes Rolling Stone!

Ok, so it isn't actually the COVER of the Rolling Stone...but I did manage to land Troy King on the Desk of National Affairs.

I got an email yesterday from a journalist who freelances for many different magazines including Rolling Stone and DAME Magazine asking if I would be interested in doing a piece for both magazines on the Sex Toys for Troy King story. I don't need to tell anyone that I eagerly accepted.

I went to Montgomery this morning for the interview which went very well. The piece will be out in about a month and will appear in Rolling Stone National Affairs section. That was Hunter S. Thompson's corner of RS and today I really wish he was still alive. He would appreciate this gesture like no one else. I know what the spin is going to be and I won't ruin it for y'all...just get ready to laugh some more.

As I got back into Alex City I had to make a stop by my favorite service station. I was all business-suited up...which is far different from my activist t-shirt and khaki's look everyone around here is used to seeing me in. The girl at the register asked me what the special occasion was and I told her about the interview and the toy drive. Bruce, who owns the store, walked away from us towards the back and came out holding this...

He said, "Why I'd have to get rid of my girl if they passed a tougher law....and that would be terrible because she never complains."

The RS piece will be just a few paragraphs, while the DAME piece will be about 1000 words and will have a photo layout as well. Not sure when that one is coming out or if it will be online, in print or both. The first print edition of this particular magazine has not yet gone to press.

Cover of the Rolling Stone

I'll explain later.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Mitt Romney's Hair for President!

Fuck it!!!

Bring all the troops home and send Mitt Romney's hair over there to kick Middle Eastern ass! That shit looks like it could saw through titanium and diamonds!

Mitt Romney's hair for President of the USA!!

Republican Debate

OMG..this SUCKS!!! The first ten minutes were taken up by the 'front runners' (whatever) Romney & Guiliani squawking about illegal immigration.

John McCain looks long dead...even has corpse makeup.

Anderson Cooper has NO BALLS!!! Hey Anderson...CUT THEIR FUCKING MIC!!!

And where in the hell is RON PAUL? I keep seeing him but they have yet to give him the floor....what's the deal? RON PAUL NOW!!! RON PAUL NOW!!!

There is no moderation....

FINALLY Ron paul...and did you hear the cheering afterwards? Go Ron Go! Go Ron Go!

More later...

Tim Lennox Online

Our friend Tim Lennox, widely known as the host of Alabama Public Television's For the Record has started a personal, non-political blog Tim Lennox Online

I wish Tim luck staying non-political. I guess he'll have to because of who he is. I think I might find such a challenge impossible. Regardless of politics I'll be a regular reader and I hope all of you will too!

Welcome to the bloggerhood Tim!

So, we're still sending prisoners to Louisiana?

I got an email this morning from a gentleman that I met while campaigning for Governor last year. He and his wife attended my very first campaign speech back in Jan. 2006. While there they told me the heartbreaking story of their son, who is sentenced to life. The charge is murder....but it isn't what you think.

See, their son made some bad decisions that involved ingesting alcohol while underage and then driving. This resulted in a car accident where a young boy, who was a passanger in the other car, was ejected and killed.

In my book that isn't murder. Not by a long shot. Vehicular manslaughter? Sure, I could buy that. But murder...NO WAY. And a LIFE sentence?? ABSOLUTELY NOT!!In my book murder involves intent to kill and I think we could all safely assume than an underage kid consuming alcohol never did so with the intent to cause anyone else harm. Yes, it is awful that a young boy was killed in the crash and yes the driver of the other vehicle should be punished...but LIFE?

This kid got life.

Here is the email from his family

My wife and I met you at the Wetumpka VFW club during your run for office. I
had related the story of my underage son being involved in an accident while
drinking and was given a life sentence for murder. We were able to get him
in Draper Prison which was real close to use and we had the ability to go
through the shakedown process and visit him every two weeks. This has been
going on for 7 years an we have been trying very hard to get him in front of
the parole board for a hearing. He completed the Victim Offenders Act of
Judge Tracy Mccouy and was given a certificate of completion. His record is
spotless, but the board refused to review his case only looking at the
murder charge.

Yesterday the state shipped him to Louisiana. They put 13 inmates and guards
into a 12 person along with their duffel bags and shackled the inmates
together. For 7 hours the inmates did not get to stretch or relieve
themselves, but the guards did. I have found a letter from the prison
commission and their spokesman where all inmates would be brought back
before the end of the year. This is on Inmate population creping up
again dated Nov. 24 2007. On top of the move the phone calls are double that
from Draper.

Do not the fools of the commission understand that the best rehabilitation
is visits with the family? Inmates should be placed in a facility close to
where families can visit with out undue burdens. It will be hard for his 7
year old daughter and his 80 year old grand parents to visit I have
read your dealing with visits to your brother and am in hope you may be able
to help or advise me on the above issues. I am at a lost and am devastated
by the events of the past days.

So, when did the DOC decide to start moving inmates back to Louisiana? How come no newspapers seem to be covering this? Are they as unaware as the public that we are shipping inmates out of state again? Here is the news story mentioned in the email I got Inmate population creeping up again. And it clearly states on page 2 that in an April memo the prison commissioner said all inmates being housed in Louisiana would be returned to Alabama by the end of the year.

And, why deny prisoners access to toilet facilities for nearly 8 hours? What is the purpose in that? Because they can?

What gives?

I am about to send this out to all of my media contacts and see if I can't scare up some press on the fact that we are sending prisoners out of state again. I have also sent this to Lisa Kung at Southern Center for Human Rights to see what they might could do to help.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

I Hope They Catch Whoever Did This

Family's Beagle Skinned Alive: Another Escapes

VINEMONT -- A Vinemont family's beagle was skinned alive and had to be euthanized, but a second beagle escaped with minor lacerations in what appeared to be acts of intentional animal cruelty.

"By far this is the most extreme case (of animal cruelty) I have ever seen," said Bruce Lee, a veterinarian who treated the dogs. "I was not prepared for what I had to see. This was a totally awful sight."

Neal Rodgers said he had let the family's two beagles run loose in a rural part of Vinemont located on Cullman County Road 1428 last weekend. He said he last heard his dogs running in the back lawn just after midnight, then found 3-year-old Anne bleeding when he went to feed them Sunday morning.

Rodgers first thought she had been hit by a car, but after a closer look it was clear someone skinned his dog alive.

"I can't imagine who would do this," he told The Cullman Times in a story Monday. "I have had bird dogs for years and never had anything like this happen."

Anne had her coat removed from the nape of the neck to the base of the tail and down to the nipple line. The second dog, 3-year-old Buttercup, suffered lacerations around the neck and shoulder before apparently escaping.

What kind of sick mother fucker does something like that? Skin a puppy dog alive? This is obviously a very dangerous person on the way to becoming a serial killer. God it makes me sick to even think about it. Poor doggie. I hope that they catch whoever did this and I wish that they would suffer the same fate they put that little dog through. Sadly, they will not suffer such a fate.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Auburn Player Bitten by Police Dog

Anyone watching the Auburn - Alabama game on Saturday evening will probably recall near the end of the game that an Auburn player was bitten by a police dog. Here is the clip from YouTube (altered by some smartass Alabama fan no doubt to include the UGA bulldog's attempted attack on an Auburn player).

It doesn't matter what team the bitten player was playing for. What matters is that cop did not have his animal under control and someone was injured because of it. If you watch that video closely you see how hard the player had to snatch his hand to get it out of the dogs mouth. Later see him looking at his hand again. It's lucky he had a glove on. That probably saved him a lot damage. What if he had been a star QB on his way to the NFL and that dog had bitten his hand and ruined his career?

That particular kind of dog is a Belgian Malinois, closely related to a German Shepherd. I have a German Shepherd and for those of you who might say "It was only a nip" let me tell you that was way more than a nip. These dogs have huge, powerful jaws lined with razor sharp teeth meant for ripping and tearing flesh & bone. They know how to nip (mine does when he is pretending to herd the kids about like sheep)and they know how to snap to break bones and hang on. That dog attacked that player.

It's not the dogs fault though. Someone on an email list that I am on raised the question about why there are police dogs at a college football game to begin with? I'm sure if we asked we would be told they are there for crowd control and coach protection. But really high-strung dogs who are sensitive to large crowds and high levels of noise are not the kinds of dogs that need to be used in a stadium crowd situation. I can't imagine my dog there. He would be unmanagable. He would have also have bitten anyone who got that close to his owner/handler. The player was moving very fast toward the handler, the crowd was yelling and the dog was extremely excited because of all the stimulation. The handler should have been prepared for that and managed his dog. He no longer needs to be a dog handler. These kinds of canines are LETHAL in the hands of someone who cannot control them in every situation.

Sunday, November 25, 2007


Snoot says Happy Holiday's to all of you! When it gets closer to decorating and picture takin time I'm gonna get him a pair of antlers. He looks just like a deer until he opens his mouth and shows his razor sharp teeth.

WAR EAGLE!! AU 17 - UA 10

I got very emotional watching the pre-game show. Not sure why....there is just so much feeling in that game. What really did me in though was the National Guard company out of Dothan watching from Iraq. I've lived out of the country for a few years and football was one of the things I missed most.

Even though I am a staunch anti-war proponent I do support the troops and seeing them divided up between Auburn and Alabama, with their signs and their team colors, hootin' and hollerin' on the biggest game day of the year just made my heart swell up near to bursting. Knowing they were getting to watch with us and how much they had probably been looking forward to it....knowing that it was a break from the bullets, bombs, shrapnel and utter hell that is Iraq....knowing that it was a little piece of home for them in an alien and hostile place so far away from that was good stuff!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

I'm Thankful for J.D. Crowe

It is the time of year that we give thanks to whomever or whatever we are thankful for.

This year I am very thankful for J.D. Crowe editorial cartoonist for the Mobile Press-Register. He, in the last week, has provided me with two masterpiece cartoons based on my "Sex Toys for Troy King" drive.

I thought I was done having hysterical, uncontrollable fits of laughter whenever Troy King's name was brought up.....but today this....

Gawd bless J.D. Crowe for being as ballsy as I am! These cartoons will go down in the Alabama political/historical archives.

J.D. and his cartoon genius aren't the only things I am grateful for in the past year....but I'll get to all the others tomorrow.

US Prison System a Costly and Harmful Failure

Yahoo News

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The number of people in U.S. prisons has risen eight-fold since 1970, with little impact on crime but at great cost to taxpayers and society, researchers said in a report calling for a major justice-system overhaul.

The report on Monday cites examples ranging from former vice-presidential aide Lewis "Scooter" Libby to a Florida woman's two-year sentence for throwing a cup of coffee to make its case for reducing the U.S. prison population of 2.2 million -- nearly one-fourth of the world's total.

It recommends shorter sentences and parole terms, alternative punishments, more help for released inmates and decriminalizing recreational drugs. It said the steps would cut the prison population in half, save $20 billion a year and ease social inequality without endangering the public.

Read the rest HERE.

Equality Begins at Home

In Loving Memory of Ken Baker

Cannabis May Halt Breast Cancer



USA -- A compound found in cannabis may stop breast cancer spreading throughout the body, US scientists believe.

The California Pacific Medical Center Research Institute team are hopeful that cannabidiol or CBD could be a non-toxic alternative to chemotherapy.

Unlike cannabis, CBD does not have any psychoactive properties so its use would not violate laws, Molecular Cancer Therapeutics reports.

CBD works by blocking the activity of a gene called Id-1 which is believed to be responsible for the aggressive spread of cancer cells away from the original tumour site - a process called metastasis.

Past work has shown CBD can block aggressive human brain cancers.

The latest work found CBD appeared to have a similar effect on breast cancer cells in the lab.

Future Hope

Lead researcher Dr Sean McAllister said: "Right now we have a limited range of options in treating aggressive forms of cancer.

"Those treatments, such as chemotherapy, can be effective but they can also be extremely toxic and difficult for patients.

"This compound offers the hope of a non-toxic therapy that could achieve the same results without any of the painful side effects."

Maria Leadbeater of Breast Cancer Care said: "Many people experience side-effects while having chemotherapy, such as nausea and an increased risk of infection, which can take both a physical and emotional toll.

"Any drug that has fewer side-effects will, of course, be of great interest."

It's really amazing how long this vital information has been kept from the people of the US. The US government has known since 1974.

The first experiment documenting pot's anti-tumor effects took place in 1974 at the Medical College of Virginia at the behest of the U.S. government. The results of that study, reported in an Aug. 18, 1974, Washington Post newspaper feature, were that marijuana's psychoactive component, THC, "slowed the growth of lung cancers, breast cancers and a virus-induced leukemia in laboratory mice, and prolonged their lives by as much as 36 percent." Paul Armentano

Just think of all the millions of people that have died of cancer or suffered near to the point of death with radiation and chemo who could have lived longer and had a much better quality of life if this simple, natural, plant had been available to them without criminal sanctions.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Mobile, AL Federalizes Local Police in Drug War

I've said for years that the US Drug War is nothing more than a way to centralize federal power by federalizing local police. An editorial in todays Mobile Press Register confirms that claim.

Drugs Across the Bay

Federal agents and county and city law enforcement, though, can provide valuable manpower to focus on drug enforcement. That's why a newly created joint operation involving the sheriffs of Mobile and Baldwin counties and the DEA makes sense. It will be even better if Mobile and Daphne police join the effort.

As for the drug-interdiction program, the cooperation will allow more officer teams to cruise I-10. The deputies will be deputized as federal agents, so they can cross county and state lines during investigations, enhancing their abilities to track, find and stop drug traffickers.

Mobile police and sheriff's deputies are now federal government agents. Any questions?

Here is one of the many terrible things that can happen when local cops and federal cops get in bed together.

Scrap the Sex Toys Law, and Let's Move On

I somehow missed this editorial by Frances Coleman in yesterdays Mobile Press-Register

Scrap the sex toys law, and let's move on

Sunday, November 18, 2007
There's no good place to begin a column about sex toys, so let's just jump right in.

If Alabama Attorney General Troy King had a lick of sense, he'd drop the subject. And if Alabama legislators had a lick of sense, they'd scrap the law that prohibits the sale of sex toys in the Heart of Dixie.

But the attorney general apparently is too busy worrying about what some Alabamians like to do behind closed doors to think sensibly on the subject.

As for legislators, if they perceive that voters might think they're in favor of sex toys, forget it.

I guess that's why they passed the law back in 1998 -- to show the folks back home that they're absolutely opposed to such perverted activity. Strangely, however, they left a little wiggle room in the law, saying that the sale of sex toys for "bona fide medical or other purposes" would be allowed.

Call me naive, but even though I'm a 54-year-old woman who came of age during the sexual revolution, I don't think I could describe more than one or two sex toys. As for what "bona fide medical purpose" such gadgets might serve, I'm an advocate of "don't ask, don't tell."

Meanwhile, here we are, stuck with a ridiculously invasive and hard-to-enforce state law that bans the sale of sex toys in Alabama.

Even though cops and rational district attorneys prefer to spend their time busting real criminals, every once in a while a purveyor of sex toys ends up in court, where a rational judge opines that the law is too vague to enforce.

From there, such cases may climb the appellate food chain.

The U.S. Supreme Court, to its credit, has refused to consider Alabama's law.

The 11th Circuit Court of

Appeals, on the other hand, earlier this year overturned a lower court's ruling that the Constitution includes a right to "sexual privacy." In the same decision, however, it suggested a way to end the round-robin of court cases.

"If the people of Alabama in time decide that a prohibition on sex toys is misguided, or ineffective, or just plain silly," the court wrote, "they can repeal the law and be finished with the matter."

The 11th Circuit is not stocked with liberal judges, and its suggestion was worded mildly enough that no one would mistake it for judicial activism.

Still, when a court uses the words "misguided," "ineffective" and "just plain silly" all in one sentence, who could miss the point?

When judges say "They can repeal the law and be finished with the matter," they mean: Junk this law.

Back in 2003, a Birmingham Democrat named John Rogers tried to convince his colleagues to repeal it, but he couldn't get enough votes. In fact, at the end of that year's session, Rogers' fellow state legislators gave him their annual Shroud Award for the session's "deadest" piece of legislation.

With former Libertarian gubernatorial candidate Loretta Nall urging people to send sex toys to the attorney general, with sex shop owners willing to fight the law in court, with the American Civil Liberties Union threatening to get involved, and with the attorney general's willingness to defend the law as it's written, isn't it time we took the 11th Circuit up on its suggestion?

There may be no good place to begin a column about sex toys, but there is a good place to end Alabama's sex toy saga, and that's in the Legislature.

Come on, senators and representatives: When you go back to Montgomery in February, screw up your courage and repeal this stupid law so cops and prosecutors can get back to enforcing the ones that really matter.

It's the right thing to do.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Lipstick on a Pig!

So, I was chatting with the proprietors of IYSextoys earlier today. They wrote and thanked me for all of the web traffic they are getting as a result of the "Sex Toys for Troy King" campaign and for the resulting humorous entertainment it is providing. They have even linked me up on their blog.

While we were chatting I asked if they, by chance, had a replica of Ms. Piglet handy and, if so, would they be willing to inflate one and send me the photo. I wish Troy King had a sense of humor and was willing to pose with his for us....but when pigs fly I guess.

They were kind enough to oblige. Allow me to introduce you to drumroll please..........................................

Trixie The Pig
Ain't she cute? Ms. Piglet could fly if Troy filled her full of helium. Wouldn't he be cute trottin' around Montgomery in his cowboy boots and his pig on a string?
(Note: I asked for a shot of the business end of Ms. Piglet but that won't be available until Monday).

While Trixie is a really cute piglet the piglet image I will always be stuck with is the one drawn by J.D. Crowe. I hope that whenever any cartoonist draws Troy King from here on out they draw him with that pig. I, for one, will never be able to look at Troy King again without suffering uncontrollable and hysterical fits of laughter. JD's cartoon is all I will ever be able to see. It is permanently burned in my brain. That cartoon is a cross between something from "The Far Side" and some of the brialliant ones found only in Hustler.

Speaking of Hustler....I wish they would pick up on this sex toy drive. That is right up Larry Flynt's alley. If they got involved the post office might have to employ a dumptruck up to deliver all the goodies being sent.

While I am really having a great time with all of this I don't want people to miss out on the larger lesson that all of this teaches. The Times Daily had a great editorial on the absurdity of King's focus on obscentiy laws while Alabama burns. Troy King deserved to be humiliated because he humiliates all of us when he hints that he will take up time/money in the legislature on an issue as silly, trivial and not important as this one. So, he wanted to focus on sex toys? He got it. I hope he takes to heart the lesson that Alabamian's are, by and large, tired of being made to look like fools because our elected officials want to play moral politics. That is real money we pay him to be the Attorney General....could we get some real work please?

Some Linky Love

Thought I'd spend a few minutes returning the love of all the bloggers across the world who have picked up the "Sex Toys for Troy King story and run with it.

This first one I am really, really, really proud of.
Alabama Deer Talk
Even the deer hunters, who are normally thought to be part of Troy King's unshakable base, are sending him some toys. I mean that is right up in the middle of his camp. It doesn't get much better than that in Alabama, folks. Thanks Alabama Deer Talk!

I hear that Fleshbot also picked it up, but I can't seem to find it on their site. WARNING: NSFW or many other places. Extreme hardcore porn site. You were warned.

Got an email last night from a former Alabamian who fled to California years ago and the title of the email was "God Bless You and that Little Piggy Too!" I howled when I read it so I thought I'd share it with y'all.

--Dear Loretta,

Thank you for giving sanity a voice behind the cotton curtain. I was
raised in Oxford and lived in B'ham for about 6 years. I escaped to
California in 1994.

Your sextoy drive is brilliant. I'll ship him a cockring or maybe
some lube called Built to Fuck! Alabama is so sexually repressed!
I'm so glad a woman is fighting for change. This country needs more
women like you.
Best regards,

This person heard about me at GAYVN

Here is a long list of linked in sites provided by Technorati. Spend some time visiting them if you can because the comments are priceless as are some of the posts. Other people's takes on this are just superb!

Doc's Political Parlor


I can't believe this hasn't been Farked yet. If someone out there reading this has a Fark account please send this in. Someone might also consider Metafilter-ing it if they have an account there.

There are more links which I will attempt to list today.

Internet helps 'Sex Toys for Troy King' reach nation

Mobile Press-Register

Loretta Nall organized effort in oppostion to rewording Alabama's anti-obscenity laws

Saturday, November 17, 2007
Capital Bureau

MONTGOMERY -- The pig has landed.

An inflatable pig sent to Attorney General Troy King's office in protest of potential changes to state anti-obscenity laws appears to have arrived Thursday, according to blogger and former Libertarian candidate for governor Loretta Nall.

Nall, who called for a "Sex Toys for Troy King" drive, said she received a receipt of delivery from the California company that manufactured the pig.

Chris Bence, a spokesman for King, declined comment Friday.

Earlier this month, a Jefferson County judge declined to close a store selling sex toys in Hoover, ruling that language in the statute was too vague to justify the action. The Attorney General's Office suggested earlier this week that the Legislature would be the best place to address the language in the law, first passed in 1998.

Nall organized the drive in opposition to prosecutions under the law and changes to it, saying prosecuting people for the sale of sex toys is an invasion of privacy and a waste of time.

"If somebody in the Legislature in 2008 makes this an issue, aside from the attorney general, I'll be doing the same thing to them," she said Friday. "Everybody's angry at the Legislature right now because of the shutdown (in the 2007 session). If they come back in 2008 and pass an anti-obscenity law, people might just run them out on a rail."

Nall said she knows of "three or four" people from Birmingham who have mailed sexual devices to the Attorney General's Office. State and national Internet blogs have also picked up on the drive.

Bence said earlier this week that King would only make the anti-obscenity legislation a part of his 2008 legislative package if law enforcement officers request that he do so.

"I don't see the police chiefs of Alabama getting around a table and saying sex toys are a threat to our safety in Alabama," Nall said.

That is absolutely hysterical!! "The Pig Has Landed" I can't believe they printed that. Of course I can't believe they ran that masterpiece of a cartoon the other day but they I just gotta say God Bless the Mobile Press....uh oh I'm starting to sound like Jesse Jackson.

Does anyone else find it odd that Troy King has been strangely absent from the media this week? I mean, that guy is a much bigger media whore than I am and yet this week when the whole world is focused on his office he is no where to be seen. Heh!

Got a comment from the sex toy company that produced the pig.

" Loretta, Thanks for the link to the site, much appreciated! Hope your crusade works! We are here to support your campaign. As you all ready posted, looks like your order was delivered on time! Thanks Much Again! For All Your Adult Needs"

You're more than welcome IYSextoys. Thank you for having an inflatable pig and for sending it on time. Hope this gives business a boost.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Just some thoughts

As you can probably imagine, I'm getting a great deal of feedback on the editorial cartoon that ran in yesterday's Press Register in response to my Sex Toys for Troy King drive.

I can't quit looking at the damn thing. You know I was really and truly shocked when I first saw it yesterday. I'm still shocked today. You must know that it is extremely difficult to shock yours truly. I went to bed last night expecting a 3 a.m. anti-sex toy SWAT team raid....but luckily that didn't happen....yet.

That cartoon heaped utter and abject humiliation on the top law enforcement officer in the state. Which is exactly what he deserved. You gotta admit that Troy King has been begging for someone to slap him around a little bit for a very long time. This whole sex toy/anti-obscenity crusade he puts on is nothing more than a distraction from his failures as AG. The guy is a joke.

Some people have asked me why I did it. Well, to humiliate King for starters. Of course, I never really expected it to get this much play. That seems to be a recurring theme with me. I was really just being a smart-ass again. Also, since the 11th circuit ruled that Alabamian's do not have a constitutional right to sexual privacy (and King still says that isn't enough) then we must have a constitutional right to sex publicly...right? Or do we not have a constitutional right to sex at all in the state of Alabama? If that is the case then somebody's got some 'splanin' to do Since King wanted to make us the laughing stock of the nation AGAIN I figured a little table-turnin was in order.

Some people have failed to understand the signifigance of me sending a pig to the AG. Yeah...I know that is really hard to believe. I almost feel like if they don't get the pig symbolism then I shouldn't bother to explain it because they probably wouldn't be able to follow along anyway....but I will explain it just this once. Troy King is the top law enforcement officer in the state. Law enforcement officers are often referred to as 'pigs' by citizenry. Also, as I mentioned before I didn't want to encourage Troy to breed outside his species by sending a human blow-up doll.

The cartoon itself borders on obscene. Everyone who I sent it to yesterday was shocked into absolute silence for a good 30 seconds when they first saw it. And these people are not Troy King fans. Then they cackled like maniacs for much longer. No one could believe it. One friend told me, "I just stared at it for a while because I could not convince myself that I was seeing what I was actually seeing. Troy just got fucked in the newspaper."

The more I look at it the funnier it is. The look on that little pigs face is like "Oh no....this isn't gonna be good." The same friend who was having trouble believing what he was seeing called me last night and said, "You may be because I am a pig owner....but that lil'ol pig looks concerned." And the donkey with his tongue hanging out...and the mace hanging off Troy's side....and those damn boots and Troy even has a belly button. His latex-gloved hand is up that pig's butt. It's like he's doing a 'Seig Heil' with a pig stuck on the end of his arm. Someone over at Daily Dixie said "He's wearing that thing like an oven mitt." And the best part of name on that box. OMG!!!

Brian Lyman just emailed me back. I let him know earlier this morning that Petunia had landed and asked if he would be willing to go by and ask to take a photo of it. He said they are doing a follow-up and he'll call me.

Stay tuned for more righteous hilarity.

Nall Adds Humor to Sex Toy Debate

Tuscaloosa News
Published Friday, November 16, 2007

Nall adds humor to sex toy debate
Loretta Nall, the clown princess of Alabama politics, is at it again.

Nall campaigned for governor in 2006 on the Libertarian ticket. When a political columnist drew attention to her cleavage, she didn't like it at first. But she turned the publicity to her advantage, raising campaign funds by selling T-shirts with her photo and the slogan, "More of these boobs!! And less of these boobs." Beneath the slogan were pictures of Bob Riley, Lucy Baxley and other candidates.

Now the free-spirited Nall is taking on Alabama's straitlaced attorney general, Troy King.

King is considering asking the Legislature to amend the state's anti-obscenity law. A Jefferson County judge ruled this month that part of the law was too vague to force closure of a sex toys store in Hoover.

In 1998, the Legislature passed a law banning the sale of sex toys in Alabama. Lower courts found it unconstitutional in 1999 and 2002, saying Alabama did not prove a legitimate interest in regulating sale of sex toys to adults. But the 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals upheld the law in 2004, claiming there is no constitutional right to sexual privacy.

The appeals justices did note that Alabama could repeal the ban if residents decide "a prohibition on sex toys is misguided, or ineffective, or just plain silly."

It is all of those things.

"It's absolutely outrageous an attorney general would squander our tax dollars and barge into our bedrooms and tell us what we can and cannot do in Alabama," Nall says. "We have real crime in Alabama."

So she has organized a "Sex Toys for Troy King" drive, in which she encourages people to mail the devices to the AG's office in Montgomery.

Earlier this week, she sent King an inflatable pig.

We aren't delusional enough to believe that her drive will have any impact on changing the law. But it does point out its absurdities in a humorous way. It's good to have someone like Nall to enliven Alabama's buttoned-down political scene.

Thanks to Ben Windham and the T-Town News for this editorial.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

We're # 1 We're # 1

At having one of the highest sexually transmitted disease rates in the nation according to the AP.

Associated Press Writer

MONTGOMERY, Ala. (AP) -- Alabama was among the states with the highest rates in the country for syphilis, gonorrhea and chlamydia last year, according to a report by federal health officials.

See, this is what happens when you ban sex toys which, is about the safest sex you can have. We might have less sexually transmitted diseases and fewer unwanted pregnancies if we had cheap, easy access to sex toys.. I actually brought up that fact with Brian Lyman when we were doing the interview for the sex toy article.

And while I've got you here let me ask you this....does Troy King have his latex-gloved hand up that pig's butt?

He does doesn't he?

I'm Gonna Have To Leave The Country

Thanks to this genius editorial cartoon by one J.D. Crowe who draws for the Mobile Press-Register.

When I first saw this a few hours ago I laughed so hard that I lost my breath, had tears streaming down my face and left a large bruise on my own leg from beating it. I also potentially ruptured my spleen.

I never dreamed that one day my antics would inspire a cartoon of Alabama Attorney General Troy King in a dominatrix outfit, looking at an inflatable pig provided by moi, and pointing out that he prefers donkey's. J.D. Crowe even drew a dimple on Troy's ass. And that poor little donkey all bandaged up...

Y'all...does it get any better than this?

However, I feel that I may actually need to leave the country in quick fashion. While I am packing y'all go over to J.D. Crowe's place and show him some serious love for the hurtin' he laid on Troy King. This man needs whatever the top award is that is given to editorial cartoonists. He is an effin' genius!!!

What Others Are Saying

The bloggerhood has picked up on this story inside and outside of Alabama. Here is a listing of other sites carrying the Sex Toys for Troy King story and what they are saying about us.

The Naughty American

Say Uncle

Women's Health News

Tiny Cat Pants


The Bull Speaks

Montgomery Unite



Left in Alabama

CroweBlog (this is the blog of the editorial cartoonist for the Mobile Press-Register. A friend of mine from down that way just alerted me to the fact that today's editorial cartoon is based on the pig I sent to Troy King and it is, according to my friend, a real 'squealer'. I can't find it online anywhere and have emailed Mr. Crowe and asked him to email me a copy if possible. I'll post it when I get it.

Josh Carples

Send me an email if you know of other blogs and websites carrying this story so I can list them here. I know there are a ton of livejournal sites carrying it as well.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Sex Toy Drive is a Protest for Pleasure has just posted their version of the Sex Toy Drive for Troy King.

Sex Toy Drive Is A Protest For Pleasure
Thursday, November 15, 2007
ALEXANDER CITY, Ala. (Wireless Flash) – The right to use sex toys is getting one Alabama town all hot and bothered

Unless you are a major media conglomerate paying for this service you will not be able to view anything other than what I have posted above.....however the paying media will have an absolute field day with this. Ya is entirely possible that the Alabama Attorney General could get thousands of sex toys shipped directly to his office.


Woman Fights King on Sex Toys

To everyone surfing in from FireDog Lake WELCOME and please be sure to visit these related links.

Just Some Thoughts
Internet Helps Sex Toys For Troy King Reach Nation
Lipstick on a Pig (includes actual picture of inflated pig.)

UPDATE:This story was just picked up by Flash News which is a company that provides entertainment news to the mass media. Everything they have ever covered on me before has blown up in a huge way. I expect this will be no different. If you are the media and need to contact me you can call me at

251-650-2271 (office)
256-625-9599 (cell)

The story is out in the Mobile Press-Register This story is front page news and above the fold to boot!! Many thanks to Brian Lyman.

Loretta Nall urges people to mail items to state's attorney general

Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Capital Bureau

MONTGOMERY -- A former gubernatorial candidate and Internet blogger wants to use the mail to protest potential changes to the state's obscenity laws, urging people to send sex toys to Alabama Attorney General Troy King.

Loretta Nall has organized a "Sex Toys for Troy King" drive, in which she encourages people to mail the devices to the Attorney General's Office in Montgomery.

However, Chris Bence, a spokesman for King, said addressing vague language in the state law would best be addressed by the Legislature.

"We have 105 members of the House and 35 members of the Senate," Bence said Tuesday. "I would suggest (Nall) buy 140 items and send them to the (members of the) Legislature."

Nall, an Alexander City resident who was the 2006 Libertarian nominee for governor, said Tuesday that prosecuting storeowners is both a violation of privacy and a waste of time.

"It's absolutely outrageous an attorney general would squander our tax dollars and barge into our bedrooms and tell us what we can and cannot do in Alabama," she said. "We have real crime in Alabama."

A Jefferson County judge declined to close a sex toys store in north Alabama's Hoover earlier this month, saying the law's vagueness on what constitutes "adults-only enterprises" means the city can't close the shop.

Nall said she has mailed an inflatable pig to the attorney general's office. It should be delivered by the end of this week.

The state passed a law in 1998 banning the sale of sex toys in Alabama. Possessing the items remains legal as does the possession of condoms and virility drugs. The purchase of sex toys for "bona fide medical or other purposes" is also allowed.

Lower courts found the law unconstitutional in 1999 and 2002, saying Alabama did not prove a legitimate interest in regulating the trade, but the U.S. 11th Circuit Court of Appeals in Atlanta upheld the law on appeal in 2004, saying there was no constitutional right to sexual privacy.

The majority of justices did write that Alabama could repeal the law if residents decide "a prohibition on sex toys is misguided, or ineffective, or just plain silly."

Another suit against the law was appealed up to the U.S. Supreme Court, which declined to hear the case earlier this year.

The attorney general has not made a decision on whether to push for the change to the language, Bence said. King will soon start meeting with law enforcement officials to determine his legislative agenda, and Bence said strengthening anti-obscenity language in the law will be on the agenda if a majority of police say they want it.

The initial 1998 lawsuit was brought by the American Civil Liberties Union, two store owners and four women who said they needed the devices for medical purposes. Store owners have said they would invoke the law's medical exception to continue selling the items. Nall, however, said it shouldn't come to that.

"Maybe next time you'll have to show a note from the doctor that you have to buy that," she said. "I think it's ridiculous to have to give a reason to purchase something like that if we're over 18 years old."

You's really great to be me sometimes. Like today for instance. As for mailing every member of the house and senate a sex toy....I think I'll pass. There are only two peole in the legislature that I can think of that would push for a bill outlawing sex toys and they are Sen. Hank Erwin and Rep. Gerald Allen. Also, I haven't seen anyone in the legislature push for an anti-sex toy law....only the Attorney General's office has made it a huge issue. I predict that only the AG's office will push for anything like this in the next session so I say my sex toy drive for Troy King is proper. When he comes out with his new agenda for 2008 I bet you anything that will be in there along with a push for a new law to lock up anyone who sends the AG a sex toy in the mail.

I do hope that Troy likes his pink, inflatable, penetratable pig. I would have sent a regular blow up doll....but I wanted to encourage him to breed only within his species...hence the pig. I've also considered dressing up in a penis costume and attending the next press conference on this issue....however, I am afraid that in such a costume I might be mistaken for Troy King or any of the many dickheads that inhabit Montgomery, AL.

Get those toys in the mail!

Monday, November 12, 2007

Sex Toys for Troy King

WELCOME OnTap Readers...for all of the sex toys for troy coverage please click this link and read from the bottom up.

For readers surfing in from various places be sure not to miss yesterday's editorial cartoon.

ANOTHER UPDATE: Apparently this post has also caught the attention of someone from the Executive Office of the keeps popping up in my web traffic this morning. Hmmmmmmmm........

UPDATE: I just got off the phone with the Press-Register. They are doing a story on this.

The Birmingham News is reporting that Attorney General Troy King might push for tougher anti-obscenity laws in the next legislative session because of a recent court's ruling that the current laws are too vague with regard to Love Stuff, an adult toy shop.

Now, I only have six words to say to AG King about his anti-dildo crusade..FROM MY COLD DEAD FINGERS TROY!!!

I think that Troy may not have any experience with devices used in sexual pleasure, so, I am starting a crusade to introduce Troy King to the fabulous world of ben-wa balls, rubber weiners and pocket tooties. I want to encourage all of my readers to purchase a sex toy of some sort and send it to Alabama Attorney General Troy King. I also think there is something fundamentally wrong with a grown, college educated, elected official who seems to obsess over what other consenting adults in his home state might be using in the privacy of their bedrooms. I mean...don't we have much more serious problems in Alabama that our Attorney General should address?

Send your SEX TOYS FOR TROY to

Alabama Attorney General
c/o Troy King
11 South Union St., 3rd floor
Montgomery, AL 36130

If you participate and send a toy to Troy please post in the comments. I want to track how many he gets.

UPDATE: This seems to have caught on and is being carried by the following Alabama blogs.

Alabama Moderate
Bitter Old Punk
Daily Dixie
Gordon Unleashed

If this keeps up the entire AG's office could overflow with sex toys. Imagine that scene for a minute..... :)

Sunday, November 11, 2007


I was out and about some yesterday and took a few pictures. This first one is of a very old wooden church waaaaaaaaaaaaaay out on a dirt road that cuts across Hogg Mountain. It is still an active church and I can just about guarantee you that they get down on Sunday morning. There are also two very old graveyards nearby that I will get some shots of soon.

This second one is of a sign at a gas station in Millerville, AL. Not sure if you can read it so what it says is "Trade Day Nov. 10 Rent You A Spot Now". Love the way they phrased it.

This last one is of a hickory tree in my back yard. It is absolutely stunning when the sun shines through the leaves and the sky is that pure autumn blue that just makes you feel happy. This picture does not do it justice.

Later today I am going to take my puppy for a walk in the woods and get some more shots of pretty trees. My favorite ones are the maples that are so orange they look like they are on fire!

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Editorial on Student Drug Testing

My friend Don spotted this before I did this morning in today's Huntsville Times. Kudos to David Prather for penning this gem.

Just say 'no'

Yet another school system may succumb to the unnecessary expense and faulty logic of treating its students as criminals. That, in essence, is what will occur if the Madison City Board of Education approves a recommendation for random drug-testing of students who drive to school or participate in extracurricular activities in middle or high school.

Children who have done nothing to merit suspicion will be subjected to the humiliation of random testing. Urinalysis is the preferred option of the moment, although it's not 100 percent accurate and wouldn't catch some steroids that, say, football players might be tempted to use. So maybe the next step will be to kick it up a notch. Polygraphs? Waterboarding?

Remember that these aren't students who have given their teachers or parents reasons to suspect they are doing drugs. If that were the case, either or both could - and should - intervene. No, these are students whot are being picked at random and subjected to a process more properly required for certain jobs or for criminals and can be used by private businesses that choose to undertake the expense.

Is the Madison system rolling in money? Apparently not, based on recent efforts to get a half-cent tax increase. (To be fair, that money would go to capital needs. Still, money is a continuing problem for all three systems in this county.)
School officials say that the random testing will assist efforts to reduce teen drug use. There are better, less expensive ways to do that - focusing on children with obvious problems, for example - and those ways also don't make students guilty until proven innocent.

Madison City Schools would be wise to reject this proposal and turn its attention to more worthwhile pursuits. - David Prather

Waterboarding? Ahahahahahahahahaha.

As to Mr. Prather's questions about the money to implement this should be known that the ONDCP (Office of National Drug Control Policy) Gives grants to schools to implement these programs.

Friday, November 09, 2007

Just Say NO to Student Drug Testing

There is a story in the Huntsville Times this morning about student drug testing, which is one of my pet peeves.Madison Schools Eye Student Drug Testing

MADISON - A random drug testing policy for students who drive to school or participate in extracurricular activities is being considered for Madison City Schools.

"We feel an obligation to provide the safest environment we can, and a drug-free environment is the best for our children," Superintendent Dr. Dee Fowler said at Thursday night's board meeting.

He said the test will cover 10 types of drugs such as amphetamines, barbiturates, marijuana and prescription medications. "We're not trying to find someone doing drugs but just give them another reason to say no" to drugs, Jackson said.

That's all well and good Mr. Superintendent...however, studies show that student drug testing does not work. The following is a letter to the editor that I just wrote and sent in. I hope that they print it and I also hope to find out when this will be discussed again so that I can be there to present a different view. Please also write a letter to

Dear Editor,

In response to "Madison Schools Eye Drug Testing" (11/09) I submit the following in hopes of providing parents and educators with good, scientific-based reasons to 'Just say NO to student drug testing".

Oregon Health & Science University researchers just concluded a two-year study called SATURN (Student Athlete Testing Using Random Notification).
This is the first-ever prospective, randomized clinical trial to measure the deterrent effects of drug and alcohol testing among high school athletes. They report that random drug and alcohol testing does not reliably keep student-athletes from using. They also found that drug testing increases some risk factors for future substance use. These findings are published in the November issue of the Journal of Adolescent Health, the journal of the Society for Adolescent Medicine.

Student drug testing places kids in greater danger for a variety of reasons. Marijuana is the substance most commonly used by youth and is the safest of all substances, both licit and illicit. Students who might engage in a little youthful indiscretion by smoking pot once in a while, might move to harder drugs like meth and prescription narcotics because they are out of your system in 72 hours, whereas the broken down metabolites of marijuana, while causing no harm, are detectable in the human body for up to 45 days. Kids are also known to do crazy things like drink bleach in hopes of masking drugs in their system. That is extremely dangerous.

Parents and educators should also be aware that the following organizations oppose randomly drug testing students: National Education Association, the Association for Addiction Professionals, the American Public Health Association, the American Academy of Pediatrics, the National Association of Social Workers, and the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence.

If that many professionals say NO to student drug testing, studies show it doesn't work and might even place kids in greater danger then why do we continue to see schools push for these invasive and dehumanizing programs for our kids?

Respectfully Submitted for publication,
Loretta Nall

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Where do they come up with these numbers?

Montgomery Advertiser

The Criminal Reduction Team of the Montgomery Police Department confiscated more than $23,000 in illegal drugs and in cash from drug dealers in October, according to Capt. Huey Thornton, a police spokesman. The team was implemented to respond to high-crime areas and address street-level crimes such as open-air drug activities and random firing of weapons.

The following statistics represent the team’s activities in October:
-- Marijuana confiscated: 1,164 grams, street value of $11,640
-- Crack cocaine confiscated: 41 grams, street value of $4,100
-- Powder cocaine confiscated: 40 grams, street value of $4,000
-- Ecstasy confiscated: 86 pills, street value of $860
-- Cash confiscated from drug dealers: $2,509
-- Weapons seized: 33
-- Felony arrests: 69
-- Misdemeanor arrests: 52
-- Capias warrants (traffic warrants) served: 196
-- Stolen vehicles recovered: 3

All of the arrests and confiscations resulted from recent complaints from residents about criminal activity in their neighborhoods, according to police.

I do wonder what kind of math these folks learned in school. Let's see. Going rate for a pound of weed is around $1600 wholesale if it is just regular weed and not high-end stuff (which is really hard to find around here). A 1/4 oz. runs $40 and has not changed since I was a kid.

The article says that police seized 1,164 grams for a total of $11,640. There are 28 grams in an ounce and 16 ounces in a pound. So 16 x 28 = 448 grams in a pound. They seized around 2.6 pounds of pot and they are claiming it is worth $11,640? For 2.6 pounds? Are they joking? Over $5000 a pound? Even if every gram was sold in $5 (nickle) bags containing exactly 1 gram that would have only come to $2240 street value per pound.

Granted, in large cities outside of Alabama, where truly excellent pot is available, the value they are placing on a 2.6 pounds is not unheard of....but this is Montgomery, AL and unless something drastic has happened in the last year that caused the streets to be flooded with primo smoke I just don't buy these numbers. I've had good smoke in my lifetime that came out of Montgomery...but not $5000 a pound smoke.

Hey Montgomerian' about a report from the there really some primo $5000 a pound weed down there I don't know about?

Crazy Dog!

It's been an interesting week or so for my doggie, Snoot. On Halloween night I got home late from Birmingham. The kids were already back from trick-or-treating and everyone was in bed. My energetic pooch didn't greet me at the door like he always does and I knew something was up.

I found him in the bedroom laid out in his favorite spot. His tummy was making all kinds of terrible noise. It literally sounded like he swallowed a live cat who was really pissed off. I wondered if the kids had fed him candy, which they know is against the rules. I went and woke them up to ask. They both told me no, that his tummy was unhappy when they got home and they didn't know why. I believe them because they are always telling each other not to feed him this or that. They would never give him anything that they thought might hurt him. The adore him and he them. So, I woke my husband up and asked him if something had happened to my doggie or if he had maybe fed him anything unusual. He said no.

I sat in the floor and rubbed his tummy. He wasn't acting like the condition was causing him any pain....but I've had gas like that and it hurts like a bastard! After a while I went to sleep only to be awakened by the sound of Snoot barfing in the living room. I got up to clean it up but there was nothing there. Dry heaves.

The next day he seemed fine. Seemed to be burping a lot but otherwise ok.

On Friday I had to be out of the house for the morning to attend a drug court monitoring session in Shelby Co. I called home during a break and learned that Snoot had started throwing up again and that he was hot to the touch and his nose was dry. I said I would be home as soon as I was done but to call me if he got sick again. And he did get sick again. I decided to call it a day and rush home to take him to the vet.

At the vet's office we discovered he did not have a fever. He is also worm free, which is most unusual, even for a house dog. He weighs 75 lbs. which is far below the 110 I had him pegged at. I asked the vet if he was underweight and he said no. His assistant, who also owns a German Shepherd about Snoot's age said she wished her's would get as big as mine. The vet commented on how incredibly strong he is. We had him tied, muzzled, blind-folded and three people holding him and still it was like wrestling a bull alligator. Blood work showed no signs of infection.

The vet asked me a series of questions. Had he eaten anything unusual? Had he maybe killed a small animal and eaten it? Had he been in any stagnant water? Did I ever allow him to roam free? Had I recently pissed off any of my neighbors who might have done something to him?
Every answer was no. I asked the vet about bloat, which is common among deep chested dogs like shepherds. He said he had considered that but since Snoot was still going to the bathroom with regularity he had ruled it out.

He went out of the room to get some anti-biotics. A couple minutes later he stepped back in with the strangest smile on his face. I took one look at him and knew what was coming.

"You don't reckon he might have eaten any of your pot do you?" I cracked up. "No doc. I'm certain he didn't eat any of my pot. As a rule, I don't keep it at the house and he hasn't been anywhere else where there was pot." "Ok", he said, "it's just that I know what you do for a living because we had that conversation a while back and pot is toxic to dogs if they eat it and I just happened to think of it."

Snoot wound up with a large shot of some new anti-biotic, which he was most unhappy about, two additional syringes to give him at home, a bottle of pills of the same, new flea medicine, heart worm prevention medicine, and a large bottle of Kaopectate mixed with Paregoric. For those of you that don't know, Paregoric is camphor distilled opium. When I was a little kid I suffered from chronic ear infections and my mom was a firm believer in Paregoric. Back then (late 70's early 80's) she could walk into the neighborhood pharmacy and get it directly from the pharmacist without a prescription. I spent many a childhood day whacked out of my mind on that shit. Now it is almost impossible to get. The vet said the pharmacists in this area stock it for him but not really for people anymore.

He told me to give Snoot 10-15 CC's three to four times a day. I said "Damn doc you trying to kill him? That's a HUGE dose." He said it does not affect animals like it does humans...that my puppy would be fine. So, I gave Snoot 10 CC's one time and he was so loopy he could barely stand up. Just stoned out of his gourd. It's funny that dogs can handle massive doses of opiates but ingesting marijuana is toxic to them.

Here are a couple more pics I snapped of him this morning. They do not do him justice size wise.

I found out four new things about Snoot this week. He hates a vacuum cleaner and the UPS guy, he is lactose intolerant and his precious ears are a babe magnet.

I found out about the vacuum cleaner when I had to clean up a dirt spill in the bedroom. My husband had moved one of his plants from outside back inside because of the cold weather. He sat it down at the foot of the bed while he found a more suitable place for it and a little dirt spilled out. Well, the dog, being the helpful creature that he is, decided he would help dad put more dirt on the floor. He proceeds to dig up, from who knows where, two peat pots with dirt, which he chews to shreds on top of the original dirt. The resulting pile was loo big to sweep up with the broom, and I couldn't find the broom anyway, so I got out the vacuum. As soon as I turned it on Snoot went ape-shit. Barking in that high-pitched frantic way that means "I'm fixin to eat your ass up!!", snarling, lunging and finally outright attacking the vacuum. There are teeth marks on it. I had to pry him off it. I guess he thought it was attacking me and he was flat aiming to fuck it up. Nothing and no one get's near his mama without going thru him. God, I love it!

Found out about the UPS guy two nights ago when he made a 7 pm delivery. We didn't hear or see him pull up out front so when he knocked on the door everybody in the house jumped. Usually the only people who knock on my door are folks from the power and cable companies wanting money or the cops wanting to cart me off to jail for some minor infraction or other. Funny though...the dog didn't bark when the knock came. I went to the door with Snoot at my side. The guy hollered out "It's UPS." I raised the window to get the package and Snoot LUNGED for the guy and suddenly found his barking box. I don't think I have ever seen a hand snatched back so quick in my life. I grabbed Snoot by the collar and started hauling him back away from the window and the UPS guy said, "I'll just leave it out here on the steps." He quickly departed.

I found out he is lactose intolerant (at least when it comes to things cooked with milk) last night after he ate two large helpings of homemade chicken dumplings. My family loves'em in cold weather and I make a pretty mean pot, even if I do say so myself. Last night was Snoot's first encounter with them though. He loved them too. Ate all of his, begged what he could off the kids and then ate again when my husband had some. About 2 am all hell broke loose. He woke me up, which he never does before 5 am. He was whining like he needed to go out. So, I got up, threw on my robe, flannel pants and Croc's and took him out. Gawd it was cold at 2 am this morning! He peed and we came back in. At 2:45 he woke me up I took him out again. He didn't do anything and after a few minutes I brought him back in and attempted to go back to sleep. He started running from room to room to room. Back and forth to the door, rattling the knob and jumping on the glass. I figured he smelled some strange critter outside and I knew he had no intention of being quiet so I got up and put him in his kennel. He woke my son up a little while later moaning and whining so Alex got up and took him outside. He said Snoot practically dragged him across the yard to his pen, ran inside and had an explosion. After that he was fine. He came back in and went to sleep until we all got up a couple hours later. I just put him back outside in his pen and he had another explosion. I feel his pain, as I, too, am lactose intolerant when it comes to things like milk and ice cream. I still eat and drink them anyway...but I pay the price.

And last but not least I discovered that Snoot's over-sized, warm, soft, velvety ears are a babe magnet. If I were a lesbian that might be very useful to me...but I'm it isn't. However, if you are a lesbian, or a heterosexual male that is considering a pooch, a German Shepherd with big ears is the ticket. All the women at the vets office came into the room last week just to play with his ears and took turns nuzzling and rubbing them. I understand...I can't keep my hands off of them either. Thay are absolutely irresistable. They have a way of making me smile when I feel sad, lowering my blood pressure when it skyrockets (which is often because I stay so pissed off) and just generally giving me that warm fuzzy feeling that only a beloved pooch can give.

I love my doggie!

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Media Sensationalism Over a Few Plants

I get so disgusted with the media and the way the blow everything related to marijuana completely out of proportion. They sensationalize the most minor crap in order to have a catchy headline. Case and point this story in the Mobile Press-Register this morning.

"Pot Factory" Bust

Staff Reporter

Mobile police seized more than 100 marijuana plants worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in a Monday morning raid of a home that a police spokeswoman called a "pot factory."

Scott Philips, 41, a single father and former youth sports coach, was arrested and charged with trafficking in marijuana, a class A felony, after the raid on Bit and Spur Road in west Mobile.

Police Chief Phillip Garrett said the plants were grown in a building behind Philips' home, in one of the most sophisticated operations Garrett has seen.

"Look at this," Garrett said, pointing to lights, fans and chemicals confiscated by police. "This is the fertilizer used in hydroponic growing. Heaters, coolers, everything you need to make the atmosphere correct."

A large diesel generator was found at the property, although Garrett did not know whether it powered the lights and fans.

Outside their headquarters Monday, police displayed the plants, marijuana that was dried and bagged, two guns, a pickup truck and trailer, and equipment to grow marijuana.

The 119 plants could produce about $1 million of marijuana every year, police said.

Philips is a former volunteer soccer and baseball coach at Christ United Methodist Church, located on Grelot Road, a church official said.

"This gentleman had a child that played in a couple of our sports," said Steve Ellisor, recreation minister at the church. "Background check was clean as a whistle."

Ellisor said he had "no indications whatsoever" of problems with Philips, who last coached a church team in May.

First...100 plants is NOT a POT FACTORY. That is a very minor, for personal use, grow-op in my very experienced opinion. The novice grower would be doing real good to get one ounce of smokable bud off of each plant. Expert growers would be able to get more, but it is very unlikely that they would be able to get pounds off of each plant. Of course, yield all depends on genetics to begin with. Then care of plants and so forth. There is also the plant sex consideration. If half of these plants were male then they would be discarded so they wouldn't count towards product yield.

Second...Why all the hype about lights, fans and fertilizer? I mean, if the guy had been growing tomatoes or turnip greens out back using the same hydroponic set up the fertilizer, lights and fans would never be seen as something bad. Why do these things suddenly become ominous when they are used for pot plants? I mean bat shit is bat shit right? It doesn't suddenly become poisonous when used for pot plants. The lights won't suddenly electrocute you and they don't send out microwave beams to zap you when used for a pot plant instead of a tomato plant. Fans move air and that is all they do no matter how you use them.

Third...This guy obviously led a normal life, free of police encounters or complaints from neighbors. He went to church, coached community sports, was raising his son and so on so what exactly is the problem if he grows a little weed in his shed? Why is that a crime?

Now, thanks to the law, he will lose his home, his automobile, his firearms, his job and his son. He'll go to prison where taxpayers will be charged $12,000 a year just to house him, his son might wind up on some sort of social service or even as a ward of the state depending on what his family situation is, when the guy gets out of prison he will have a hard time finding gainful employment, be barred from receiving federal student financial aid, barred from public housing and barred from food assistance. All of this over an innocuous green plant that has never killed anyone and is safer that alcohol and tobacco, both of which are legal to procude and consume.

Fourth...There is no way 100 plants adds up to potential production worth $1 million a year. Even using cop/government math at $2000 per plant that only adds up to $200,000. With the million dollar figure the 'authorities' are placing a $10,000 value on each plant which is unheard of. Not even the very best bud grown in California or Vancouver BC is ever priced that outrageously.

The marijuana law has torn a family apart, allowed the government to STEAL a home and other property under the guise of asset forfiture, taken an obviously decent citizen with a job who provided care for his son out of the community and placed him on the taxpayer's tab for years to come, traumatized a pre-teen boy who watched while his father was carted off to jail....all over some plants that are a natural part of our earth. How can nature be against the law?

Who has been helped by the arrest and destruction of this man's life? Do you feel safer today?