Friday, March 10, 2006

Letter to Bob Martin and Bob Ingram

I sent the following letter to both Bob's who partook in the tacky stunt of discussing my breasts in public.

Dear Mr. Martin,

Earlier this week it came to my attention that you had supplied a photo of me for use in Mr. Bob Ingram's column. While I missed the first column I happened to catch the second one containing Mr. Ingrams apparent surprise at discovering the fact that I have breasts. GASP!

"Allow me to express a personal note of appreciation to Bob Martin, the editor of this newspaper, for finding a picture of gubernatorial
candidate Loretta Nall to run with my column last week. I am sure it attracted a lot of readers.
In 55 years of political writing, that was a first for me—-a picture in my column of a woman displaying cleavage. I can only hope that my mother...and I know for a fact where she ended in the after life...didn’t see that column. She wouldn’t have approved of that picture."

It was quite shocking to me to see my breasts being discussed in the context of my gubernatorial election campaign and by a highly respected political columnist.
Why, I'm even thinking of changing my campaign slogan to "Less Bob....More Boob!"

I stopped by your office yesterday morning in hopes of discussing this matter with you in person but you were not in yet. I purchased a copy of the paper to see what all the uproar was about and discovered the photo you had used was from at least two years ago and on a website that has nothing to do with my campaign.

While I am in no way ashamed of the photo, a little cleavage never hurt anyone after all, I have to question your decisions of not contacting me for a photo and using information from a website other than my campaign website, which is located at .

I also question why you chose that particular photo out of about 200 available on the internet, many of which were more suitable for the political nature of the article in which the photo appeared. It doesn't seem to be a decision that a person of your journalistic credibility and background would make.

On the up side, my web traffic has been through the roof....I guess nothing drives people to website quite like a shot at seeing some high profile boobies. If nothing else, you have secured me the "horny guy" vote that exists among your readers.

I left a phone message with Mr. Ingram to discuss the column with me but he has not called back. He might be tough with a pen and paper but apparently he is no match for a set of boobs.

I'd like the opportunity to dispel the myth being perpetuated in the media that I am a one issue candidate and that my campaign, as Mr. Ingram so ignorantly opined, is merely for fun. Nothing could be further from the truth. There is very little that is fun about opening your entire life to the public for a fine-tooth-comb inspection. I wonder if either of you have ever dared the same undertaking?

While Mr. Ingram seemed to imply that my campaign is whimsical and self-indulgent, Alabama's current prison crisis says otherwise. It is an issue that makes headlines almost daily and negatively affects tens of thousands of Alabamians. Everyone in the state knows this and trying to diminish the seriousness of my campaign by showing my cleavage is tacky, disrespectful and more of a bad mark against your journalistic credibility than the credibility of my campaign. At the very least, you both owe to your readers the facts that I never sent you that photo and you never asked me if it was ok to use it nor did you request another one. You should also apologize to your female readers for engaging in such a sexist stunt.

I'd like to extend the following invitation to both of you.
Now that you and the rest of Alabama have been introduced to "the twins" perhaps you'd like to meet the rest of me.
I'll don my Burka, so y'all won't be distracted, and perhaps we can discuss the other planks in my platform, since Mr. Ingram saw fit to only discuss one.

Feel free to print my letter and also pass it along to Mr. Ingram as I have been unable to locate anything other than a phone number for him. I hope to hear from both of you very soon and I hope that you both appreciate that thus far I have maintained my sense of humor about this incident. Here's hoping you will both be gentlemen and do the right thing.

In Liberty,
Loretta Nall
Vote Nall Y'all...It's Just Common Sense


Nita420 said...

Loretta, this letter is priceless! I whole heartedly agree with everything you stated to these 'gentlemen' and I take my hat off to you for the spanking you gave them.

Molly said...

Terrific letter... I linked to your story (as told by Big Brass Blog) from my blog. Good luck in your campaign!

Dewy said...

I salute the poise and seizure of this opportunity. Mrs. Nall has taken the Bull by the horns here, and backed it into what we call a Zugswang in Chess.

Giving your opponent the choice to either wallow in the disgrace they lavish upon those they scorn, or present you Honestly and fairly in their limelight they cherish.

My printer is spitting out sheets of ballot access forms to make sure your a choice for Alabama this November.

Matt Ahern said...


To echo Nita420, this IS priceless!

You pierced the heart of this cheap ad hominem attack and revealed it for what it is. If I was an Alabaman you would have my vote!

Attempting to devalue your sincerety with this demeaning assault does more to impugn their character than yours.

And bravo to you for not responding in kind but rather taking the high road and calling them to the high calling of gentlemen-liness.

Press onward.

Anonymous said...

Well done! I'm an independant in NC who now thinks that the Libertarian vote may be the next logical step. Your arguments further the idea that it's time to dump the traditional (2 is really 1) party system. You rock!

Anonymous said...

Wow, who knew? There is a real person running for office in this state (country!). Sorry I am just learning about you, but I'm doing my election research a bit late this term. I like you alot, from a political standpoint,the boobie story did appeal to my "horny guy" side,but it doesent affect my voting strategy. My question is, what are the chances of you getting elected? You have to admit, Ya' aint mainstream Alabam' thinkin'. I mean I would love someone like you in office (if I'm reading you right from what little I know so far). And, please, I'm not trying to be demeaning at all, but would'ent I be wasting my vote? I hate it, but my feeling is Lucy is the lesser of two evil's who has a chance. Please change my thinking!

Loretta Nall said...

Voting for the lesser of two evils only guarantees that you will get one thing. Evil.

Lucy really doesn't have a chance....not 20 points down in the polls. She does not want to do anything substantial about the drug laws or the prison crisis and she wants to create a government database to track rowdy school children...among many other things I disagree with.

Vote your conscience if you like what I have to say and send a message to both the Republicans and Democrats that while I may not win this time around there is support for me to hold public office in Alabama...a lot of support.